Category: one liners

It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future.

Nobody goes to that restaurant anymore. It’s too crowded.

Question: Why did they let the turkey join the band?

Answer: Because he had his own drumsticks!

When something is “new and improved”, which is it? If
it’s new, then there has never been anything before it. If it’s
an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

Nobody goes to that restaurant anymore. It’s too crowded.

And which parallel universe did you crawl out of?

He’ll never go where He’s told until he dies.

What does a woman and KFC have in common?

After you are done eating the breasts, legs, and thighs, all you are left with is a greasy box to put your bone in.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Tantilazing

There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of
preparation.

I’m convinced my cockroaches have military training…

I set off a roach bomb… they diffused it!

-Jay London

I wasn’t born a bitch. Men like you made me this way.

Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death