Category: one liners

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

If Milli Vanilli fall in the woods, does someone else make a sound?

Once, I wept for I had no shoes. Then I came upon a man who had no feet. So
I took his shoes. I mean, it’s not like he really needed them, right?

Just because a doctor has a name for your condition doesn’t mean he
knows what it is.

Crime wouldn’t pay if the government ran it.

Taxation with representation isn’t so hot, either.

I can imagine a world with no hate, no crime, and no violence. I could
also imagine us attacking that world because they’d never expect it.

If everything seems to be going right,
you’ve obviously overlooked something.

It’s really quite a simple choice:
life, death or Los Angeles.

-Ashleigh Brilliant

Your Mama is so fat, that when she wore a Malcolm X T-shirt, a helicopter tried to land on her!

If you’re in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on
the headlights?

I know somewere inside of me there is a sober man trying to get out.
A six pack usually shuts him up.