A guy says, “Doctor, Doctor! Help me, I keep thinking I’m getting smaller!”
Doctor replies, “Well, you’ll just have to be a little patient.”
Submitted by curtis
Edited by calamjo
Category: one liners
If Barbie’s so popular, why
If Barbie’s so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
A Good Year
Do you know the difference between a good year and 365 used condoms?
Answer: A fucking good year!!!!!
If you have a lot
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache,
do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two and
keep away from children.
Nuts
What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are a buck-fifty and deer nuts are under a buck.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog….
Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
It takes just a little
It takes just a little living to make a house a heap.
Why do “fat chance” and
Why do “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?
A stone was placed at
A stone was placed at a ford in a river with the inscription:
“When this stone is covered it is dangerous to ford here.”
I drive this way to
I drive this way to piss you off.
If you were to sweep
If you were to sweep me off my feet…….you would have to be a broom.
Tofu and dildos
What do tofu and dildos have in common?
They’re both meat substitutes!