Category: one liners

Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister.

What is the difference between a good girl and a nice girl?

A nice girl goes out on a date, goes home, and goes to bed. A good girl goes out on a date, goes to bed, and then goes home.

You know you live in a small town when the guy at
the local convenience store speaks English.

Q. What do Lifesavers do that a man can’t?

A. Come in five flavors.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci

Q. What’s got four legs and one arm?

A. A Rottweiler.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by calamjo

What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it’s all about?

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

Yo mamma is so ugly, two rapist broke into her house. She screamed “RAPE!!!” They yelled “NO!!!” and ran out the door

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others –
they are more screwed up than you think.

Q. Why did Michael Jackson rush over to Wal-Mart?

A. He heard that boys’ pants were 1/2 off.

A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on.