Category: one liners

Q: What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your whole day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

The best things in life are for a fee.

Drop kick me, Jesus, through the goal-posts of life

I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

It’s a good thing that William Ewart Gladstone is dead.
He’s been buried an awful long time.

Q. What’s brown and often found in children’s underpants?

A. Michael Jackson

I thought learning to play the bagpipes was hard, until I realized I was
just strangling an ostrich.

– Craig Stacey

If you make something idiot-proof, someone, somewhere,
will make a better idiot.

Had a cousin once who was the town drunk. Not that unusual really, unless
you considered the fact that he lived in New York.

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out
of the water?

Arachibutyrophobia: fear of peanut butter sticking to roof of mouth.

Ya mamma is like traintracks….She gets laid around the country!