Category: one liners

Q. How is playing the bagpipes like throwing a javelin blindfolded?

A. You don’t have to be very good to get people’s attention.

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a
boat drinking beer all day.

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?

He bought a warehouse.

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis

Sex is nobody’s business except the three people involved.

Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

A: Get out of my sun!

Never moon a werewolf.

Life is tough; even the subways are in a hole.

Contrary to popular belief Tattoos are not permanent.
They usually rot away a few days after you die.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

Tell them a joke on Wednesday!

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo

You’ll never be the man your mother was.

Why are they having so much trouble finding a cure for AIDS?

The scientists can’t get the little mice to butt fuck.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by calamjo

Q: What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your whole day, anal sex makes your hole weak.