Category: news of the weird

By Maki Becker Special to the Times 28 August 1996The way police told it, Southwest Los Angeles home-invasion robbery suspect Carlos Hawthorne was trying to throw detectives off his trail.Hawthorne, 20, was one of two men who allegedly invaded Vanessa Arlene Sells’ home Sunday, shot her and her daughter, and fled in their 1992 Lexus.Police said Hawthorne called them about 7:30 p.m. Monday to report that he had seen three men running away from a Lexus near the 2500 block of Clyde Avenue in Culver City.Police officers from the LAPD’s special-problems unit responded to Hawthorne’s call and spotted the Lexus. Meanwhile, Hawthorne remained on the phone with a communications operator who was able to determine where he was calling from: a phone booth at 3560 La Cienega Blvd., less than a mile from where the car was found.The officers found Hawthorne at the phone booth, still talking to the operator and with the keys to the Lexus in his hand, and detained him. When they searched his pockets, they found a silver necklace and a bracelet that matched the description of jewelry that had been stolen from Sells’ home. They later booked him on charges of robbery and attempted murder.

A Gastonia, N.C., couple were arrested after they left their three children home alone with a black bear. After receiving a tip from a motorist who said they’d seen a bear in the couples’ car, officers went to the home of Cynthia and Adam Williams and found the bear at home with their three children, aged 3, 4 and 5. Cynthia Williams, 22, said she and her 24-year-old husband were holding the bear for a friend who was out of town. “As soon as we found out we couldn’t get it permitted, we were going to take it back,” she said. “It wasn’t vicious to nobody.” The bear was removed from the house by animal welfare officers and the children taken into protective care.

EVER WONDER…..

…why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

…why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?

…why you don’t ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”?

…why “abbreviated” is such a long word?

…why doctors call what they do “practice”?

…why you have to click on “Start” to stop Windows 98?

…why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

…why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

…why there isn’t mouse-flavored cat food?

…who tastes dog food when it has a “new &improved” flavor?

…why Noah didn’t swat those two mosquitoes?

…why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

…why they don’t make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ?

…why sheep don’t shrink when it rains?

…why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?

…if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

…why they call the airport “the terminal” if flying is so safe?

TRUE STORY (SO I’M TOLD)If you think computers are a great invention!In March 1997, a man living in Newton near Boston Massachusetts received a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that he owed $0.00.He ignored it and threw it away. In April he received another and threw that one away too. The following month the credit card Company sent him a very nasty note stating they were going to cancel his card if he didn’t send them $0.00 by return of post. He called them, talked to them, they said it was a computer error and told him they’d take care of it.The following month he decided that it was about time that he tried out the troublesome credit card figuring that if there were purchases on his account it would put an end to his ridiculous predicament. However, in the first store that he produced his credit card in payment for his purchases he found that his card had been canceled.He called the credit card Company who apologized for the computer error once again and said that they would take care of it.The next day he got a bill for $0.00 stating that payment was now overdue. Assuming that having spoken to the credit card company only the previous day the latest bill was yet another mistake he ignored it, trusting that the company would be as good as their word and sort the problem out.The next month he got a bill for $0.00 stating that he had 10 days to pay his account or the company would have to take steps to recover the debt.Finally giving in he thought he would play the company at their own game and mailed them a check for $0.00. The computer duly processed his account and returned a statement to the effect that he now owed the credit card company nothing at all.A week later, the man’s bank called him asking him what he was doing writing a check for $0.00. After a lengthy explanation the bank replied that the $0.00 check had caused their check processing software to fail. The bank could not now process ANY checks from ANY of their customers that day because the check for $0.00 was causing the computer to crash. The following month the man received a letter from the credit card company claiming that his check had bounced and that he now owed them $0.00 and unless he sent a check by return of post they would be taking steps to recover the debt. The man, who had been considering buying his wife a Computer for her birthday, bought her a typewriter instead.

It May Be Hard to Believe That A Scant 100 Years Ago…The average life expectancy in the United States was forty-seven.Only 14 percent of the homes in the United States had a bathtub.Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone. A three minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven dollars.There were only 8,000 cars in the US and only 144 miles of paved roads.The maximum speed limit in most cities was ten mph.Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California. With a mere 1.4 million residents, California was only the twenty-first most populous state in the Union.The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower.The average wage in the U.S. was twenty-two cents an hour. The average U.S. worker made between $200 and $400 per year.A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist $2500 per year, a veterinarian between $1500 and $4000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5000 per year.More than 95 percent of all births in the United States took place at home.Ninety percent of all U.S. physicians had no college education. Instead, they attended medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press and by the government as “substandard.”Sugar cost four cents a pound. Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen. Coffee cost fifteen cents a pound.Most women only washed their hair once a month and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.Canada passed a law prohibiting poor people from entering the country for any reason, either as travelers or immigrants.The five leading causes of death in the U.S. were: 1. Pneumonia and influenza 2. Tuberculosis 3. Diarrhea 4. Heart disease 5. StrokeThe American flag had 45 stars. Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii and Alaska hadn’t been admitted to the Union yet.Drive-by-shootings — in which teenage boys galloped down the street on horses and started randomly shooting at houses, carriages, or anything else that caught their fancy — were an ongoing problem in Denver and other cities in the West.The population of Las Vegas, Nevada was thirty. The remote desert community was inhabited by only a handful of ranchers and their families.Plutonium, insulin, and antibiotics hadn’t been discovered yet. Scotch tape, crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn’t been invented.There was no Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.One in ten U.S. adults couldn’t read or write. Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.Some medical authorities warned that professional seamstresses were apt to become sexually aroused by the steady rhythm, hour after hour, of the sewing machine’s foot pedals. They recommended slipping bromide — which was thought to diminish sexual desire — into the woman’s drinking water.Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at corner drugstores. According to one pharmacist, “Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and the bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health.Coca-Cola contained cocaine instead of caffeine.Punch card data processing had recently been developed, and early predecessors of the modern computer were used for the first time by the government to help compile the 1900 census.Eighteen percent of households in the United States had at least one full-time servant or domestic.There were about 230 reported murders in the U.S. annually.

BRAZIL
People in the town of Pirapora do Bom Jesus were confined to their houses after the area was flooded by detergents and shampoos discarded into the River Tiete, covering the town with six feet of foam.

RUSSIA
A giant statue of a nose, which vanished 10 months ago from a house in St. Petersburg, was found by police in a city apartment block. Said a police spokes- man, “Both the residents and the police, who found the nose, treated it with affection.”

CHINA
According to news reports, employees in Guangzhou who are owed back pay prefer, instead of suing, to threaten suicide in public. Said one construction worker who dangled from a high rise, “There was no other way to get what the company owed us.”

ITALY
An Italian prisoner who was given a 72-hour pass for good behavior asked to go back to his cell after spending less than a day with his wife. Said a spokesman at Vigevano prison: “We got a call from him saying he couldn’t stand being with his wife and was it possible to go back to his cell.”

WALES
A man tried to steal a till from a corner shop in Blackwood while wearing a pair of underpants on his head, but midway through the holdup the shorts slipped, covering his eyes and blinding him. The man then hit himself on the head with the till as he tried to pull it from the counter, cutting himself above his left eye and causing him to drop the cash.

SCOTLAND
A Glasgow repairman replaced a flickering light bulb on a hotel sign, not realizing that it was central to the design of a $300,000 work of modern art, which consisted entirely of a sign with a flickering light bulb.

CALIFORNIA
In Corona a waiter, angry at some customers who requested vegetables with their meal, became so mad that he followed the customers home, smashed eggs on their house, dribbled maple syrup over their hedge and sprinkled powdered sugar and instant mashed potato flakes on their lawn.

— Reuters; The Age; Associated Press; Bizarre Magazine; Boston Globe; Universal Press Syndicate; ananova.com; The BBC

Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose HuntersWomen’s Movement Called More Broad-BasedAntique Stripper to Display Wares at StoreProstitutes Appeal to PopeTeacher Strikes Idle Kids

So Mischievous One, you now have your very own Viking. Did you know that care and handling of a Viking is a serious undertaking? Not to mention the large amounts of meat, beer and mead needed, you also have to be an expert on cleaning furs, on them and around them!Beards are comb-able, but usually have food stuck in them, not to mention the odd small bird nest. Hair can be braided, and if the beard is likewise long, a few braids can be done to minimize the number of small furry and feathery critters that move in. This can be a good thing for you to try, but he may resist until you show him that the braids can be woven into spectacular knotwork patterns!Remove clothing before brushing the hair of your Viking. Any resemblance to a bear is coincidental, and leave his father’s heritage and mother’s preferences out of the conversation. Vikings are touchy about their heritage. Being descended from a bear is not a bad thing for Vikings. Now those furs that he is dressed in! Were they tanned properly? Do they have an interesting odor? Are they still alive and kicking? Insure they are quite dead before attempting cleaning. Remove all insect life and dirt using a brush and beat the hung skin with a carpet whacker to loosen the deeply set dust and dirt. Oh, and you should remove the skins from you Viking before beating them. If the skins need washing, remember to use a mild soap and lanolin for the fur along with neatsfoot oil for the skin to prevent drying out. Another thing to consider with your Viking is to convince him to wear cloth under those skins. Cloth is easier to clean and it resists those pests that like to climb into your bed with you! Never give your Viking knitted undergarments, socks or caps as they are a sign that your affection is wavering! Unless of course you are sending a signal, then you may accompany this signal with a 2×4 of appropriate length. Use the 2×4 with the trademark side away from your Viking’s head to reduce the chance of breakage, and take a full swing to get your Viking’s full attention. Removal of the helm is optional, but recommended, as you may damage the helm. The cloth you use on your Viking should be a heavy cotton such as Trigger or tent canvas. Anything less is a waste of time and money as Vikings are notoriously hard on cloth. If you Viking is camping, keep a fire extinguisher ready, especially if your Viking smokes. They never learn to pull a branch from the fire to light their tobacco and are always catching their beards on fire (another reason to braid that beard and hair). Making love with a Viking is a major event for a Lady, well worth the effort! First, remove all weaponry from him. A good compromise is to leave the axe beside the bed and the knives on the nightstand. Never allow him to ‘Just keep one!’, as it will invariably end up in your derriere at the most inopportune moment when he is not worried about why you are screaming! Be firm here. Speaking of firm, warm is good. So when you strip him of all of those furs, they make dandy floor coverings in front of the fire place or on the bed to keep warm. Never overlook an opportunity like that! Oh, and you should try to keep you Viking from drinking too much before bed time. This is probably going to be difficult, but I will leave the methods for this to your fertile and mischievous imagination!So have fun with your Viking, and remember to make sure he learns to swim, keeps his boat clean, and polishes his weapons carefully!

1. We must polish the Polish furniture.2. He could lead if he would get the lead out.3. The farm was used to produce produce.4. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.5. The soldier decided to desert in the desert.6. This was a good time to present the present. (And this last could mean “gift” or “era of time “)7. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.8. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.9. I did not object to the object.10. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.11. The bandage was wound around the wound.12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.13. They were too close to the door to close it.14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.15. They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.19. Upon seeing the tear in my clothes I shed a tear.20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Think YOU’RE having a bad day? It seems like some people are
just plain doomed.

Surprised while burgling a house in Antwerp, Belgium, a thief
fled out the back door, clambered over a nine-foot wall, dropped
down and found himself in the city prison.

*****

In 1976 a twenty-two-year-old Irishman, Bob Finnegan, was
crossing the busy Falls Road in Belfast, when he was struck by a
taxi and flung over its roof. The taxi drove away and, as
Finnegan lay stunned in the road, another car ran into him,
rolling him into the gutter. It too drove on. As a knot of
gawkers gathered to examine the magnetic Irishman, a delivery
van plowed through the crowd, leaving in its wake three injured
bystanders and an even more battered Bob Finnegan. When a fourth
vehicle came along, the crowd wisely scattered and only one
person was hit-Bob Finnegan. In the space of two minutes
Finnegan suffered a fractured skull, broken pelvis, broken leg,
and other assorted injuries. Hospital officials said he would
recover.

*****

While motorcycling through the Hungarian countryside, Cristo
Falatti came up to a railway line just as the crossing gates
were coming down. While he sat idling, he was joined by a farmer
with a goat, which the farmer tethered to the crossing gate. A
few moments later a horse and cart drew up behind Falatti,
followed in short order by a man in a sports car. When the train
roared through the crossing, the horse startled and bit Falatti
on the arm. Not a man to be trifled with, Falatti responded by
punching the horse in the head. In consequence the horse’s owner
jumped down from his cart and began scuffling with the
motorcyclist. The horse, which was not up to this sort of
excitement, backed away briskly, smashing the cart into the
sports- car. At this, the sports-car driver leaped out of his
car and joined the fray. The farmer came forward to try to
pacify the three flailing men. As he did so, the crossing gates
rose and his goat was strangled. At last report, the insurance
companies were still trying to sort out the claims.

*****

Two West German motorists had an all-too-literal head-on
collision in heavy fog near the small town of Guetersloh. Each
was guiding his car at a snail’s pace near the center of the
road. At the moment of impact their heads were both out of the
windows when they smacked together. Both men were hospitalized
with severe head injuries. Their cars weren’t scratched.

*****

In a classic case of one thing leading to another, seven men
aged eighteen to twenty-nine received jail sentences of three to
four years in Kingston-on-Thames, England, in 1979 after a fight
that started when one of the men threw a french fry at another
while they stood waiting for a train.

*****

Hitting on the novel idea that he could end his wife’s incessant
nagging by giving her a good scare, Hungarian Jake Fen built an
elaborate harness to make it look as if he had hanged himself.
When his wife came home and saw him she fainted. Hearing a
disturbance a neighbor came over and, finding what she thought
were two corpses, seized the opportunity to loot the place. As
she was leaving the room, her arms laden, the outraged and
suspended Mr. Fen kicked her stoutly in the backside. This so
surprised the lady that she dropped dead of a heart attack.
Happily, Mr. Fen was acquitted of manslaughter and he and his
wife were reconciled.

*****

An unidentified English woman, according to the London Sunday
Express was climbing into the bathtub one afternoon when she
remembered she had left some muffins in the oven. Naked, she
dashed downstairs and was removing the muffins when she heard a
noise at the door. Thinking it was the baker, and knowing he
would come in and leave a loaf of bread on the kitchen table if
she didn’t answer his knock, the woman darted into the broom
cupboard. A few moments later she heard the back door open and,
to her eternal mortification, the sound of footsteps coming
toward the cupboard. It was the man from the gas company, come
to read the meter. “Oh,” stammered the woman, “I was expecting
the baker.” The gas man blinked, excused himself and departed.

Recently I was honored to be selected as an Outstanding Famous Celebrity in Texas: to be a judge at a chili cook-off because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment; and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy, and besides they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted this as being one of those burdens you endure when you’re an internet writer, and therefore known and adored by all.Here are the scorecards from the event:Chili # 1: Mike’s Maniac Mobster Monster ChiliJUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor Very mild.FRANK: Holy smokes, what is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. Hope that’s the worst one. These people are crazy.********************************************** Chili # 2: Arthur’s Afterburner ChiliJUDGE ONE: Smoky (barbecue?) with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I’m not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Hemlich maneuver. Shoved my way to the front of the beer line. The barmaid looks like a professional wrestler after a bad night. She was so irritated over my gagging sounds that the snake tatoo under her eye started to twitch. She has arms like Popeye and a face like WInston ChurchHill. I will not pick a fight with Her.********************************************** Chili # 3: Fred’s Famous Burn Down The Barn Chili:JUDGE ONE:Excellent Firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.FRANK: This has got to be a joke. Call the EPA, I’ve located a freakin’ Uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been sneezing Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now and got out of my way so I could make it to the beer wagon. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front of my chest. She said her friends call her ‘Sally.’ Probably behind her back they call her ‘Forklift’**********************************************************************Chili # 4: Bubba’s Black MagicJUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally was standing behind me with fresh refills so I wouldn’t have to dash over to see her. When she winked at me her snake sort of coiled and uncoiled….it’s kinda cute. **********************************************Chili # 5: Linda’s Legal Lip RemoverJUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground adding considerable kick. Very impressive.JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.FRANK: My ears are ringing and I can no longer focus my eyes. I belched and four people in front of me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed hurt when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. Sort of irritates me that one of the other judges asked me to stop screaming.*********************************************Chili # 6: Vera’s Very Vegetarian VarietyJUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except Sally. I asked if she wants to go dancing later.**********************************************Chili # 7: Susan’s Screaming Sensation ChiliJUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef threw in canned chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge Number 3, he appears to be in a lot of distress.FRANK: You could put a hand grenade in my mouth and pull the pin and wouldn’t feel it. I’ve lost the sight in one eye and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My clothes are covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth at some point. Good, at my autopsy they’ll know what killed me. Go Sally, save yourself before it is too late. Tell our children I’m sorry I was not there to conceive them. I’ve decided to stop breathing, it’s too painful and I am not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I’ll just let it in through the hole in my stomach. Call the X-Files people and tell them I have found a super nova on my tongue.***********************************************Chili # 8: Helen’s Mount Saint ChiliJUDGE ONE: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself.JUDGE TWO: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.FRANK: Momma??!!

• Judge J.R. Musslewhite was reprimanded for fondling female prosecutors and drinking the evidence in a drunk driving trial.
• New York City P.S. 100 principal Stuart Possner was charged with stealing $76,000 in school funds, partially obtained from forcing students to watch wrestling movies for a $2 fee and keeping the money.
• Lonnie Davidson, 40, was arrested in Twin Falls, Idaho, for posing in a carpet store window like a mannequin, naked from the waist down.
• Diane Childs of Elgin, Illinois, was charged with marijuana possession after her 8-year-old daughter called 911 and turned her in.
• Tampa, Florida’s University Community Hospital, which in the past month has faced lawsuits for amputating one patient’s good leg and killing another after accidentally removing his ventilator, now faces a third suit for removing a patient’s healthy ovary, leaving behind her diseased one.
• Ohio investigators exhumed the body of Stanley Karey, who was shot in the chest and run over by a bulldozer, to determine whether coroner Joseph Sudimack Jr. erred in declaring Karey’s death a suicide.
• For Lauderdale police said that two boys, 14 and 15, who were lacking bus fare when they left a hearing on charges that they had stolen twenty-five cars, stole a twenty-sixth to return home.
• Michael Towne, a Denny’s restaurant cook in Lebanon, New Hampshire, was charged with assaulting two Vermont state troopers after liberally applying Tabasco sauce to their order of eggs.
• Audrey Ausgotharp, a Jewish mother who allowed her children to visit the Cornerstone Baptist Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado, was told by the church that it had “accidentally” baptized her 7-year old son Wayne during Sunday school.
• A state medical board in Wilmington, North Carolina, ruled that neuro-surgeon Raymond Sattler, investigated for leaving a patient’s head cut open while he broke for lunch, may practice again provided he continues undergoing psychiatric and medical evaluations.
• One hundred and fifty police officers attended a conference in Dundalk, Maryland, to learn how to be “more sensitive to witchcraft.”
• David Duke of Logan, Utah, was given eighteen months probation for calling in a bomb threat to Ohio State University on a day he didn’t feel like taking a test.
• Eight-year-old Marisa Means of Milford, Ohio, accompanied her father, Bill, to his engineering job on Take Our Daughters to Work Day and saw him get fired.
• Charles Staggs sued the Davenport Medical Center in Davenport, Iowa, for leaving a 14-by-14 inch sponge in his abdomen during a gall bladder operation. The medical center maintains he swallowed it.
• The city of Los Angeles announced a $4 million revamping of its jury system that included the issuing of mandatory thank-you notes to jurors.
• Police in Queens, New York, arrested Majid Alajani after discovering that a search for his allegedly kidnapped son was merely a ploy to quickly locate his car, which had been stolen.
• Upholding an absolutist prohibition on bringing weapons to school, administrators of the Agnes Little School in Pawtucket, Rhode Island, suspended a 6-year-old kindergarten student for carrying a knife, which he brought to cut cookies.
• Manhattan Federal Judge John Keenan overturned the conviction of alleged drug trafficker Dale Tippins, ruling that Tippins’s Sixth Amendment right to effective legal counsel was violated when his attorney fell asleep for significant portions of the trial.
• Ohio liquor control agents received complaints about three male strippers, including a 75-year old, who made physical contact with patrons, simulated sex acts and exposed bare buttocks while dancing for a Women’s Auxiliary of the Veterans of Foreign Wars.
• Spraggs, Pennsylvania, school officials asked bus driver Mary Burke to stop leading prayers and distributing religious materials while driving children to school.
• The Ku Klux Klan won the right to participate in Ohio’s Adopt-a-Highway litter clean-up program.
• Austin, Texas, police officials tried to give away 1,000 pairs of used brown polyester sheriffs’ pants and 500 matching polyester shirts after failing to find anyone willing to pay for them.
• A month after clarifying to parishioners that tithing is not God’s command, but merely voluntary, the Pasadena-based Church of God suffered a 30 percent drop in income, causing the worst financial crisis in the church’s history.
• Late for school, a 7-year-old boy from Colebrook, New Hampshire, abandoned his bicycle and stole a Ford Escort.
• A San Francisco radio station offered a case of Snapple to the family of the one-thousandth person to commit suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge.
• Jim Harnsberger, who has been married five times, owes $18,000 in child support and has been accused of threatening an ex-wife and former girlfriend, is the leader of a San Diego, California, family values group.
• Connecticut Judge Socrates Mihalakos has ruled that Nancy Sekor, a middle-school teacher fired for incompetence in 1993, must be re-instated because she was judged incompetent in only two of the three subjects she taught.
• Thirty-five percent of Americans surveyed in a recent poll said they would support printing advertisements on dollar bills if it meant lower taxes.