Category: music

Q: How do you get a guitar player to play softer?A: Give him a sheet of music.

“Today,” said the professor , “I will be lecturing about the liver and spleen.”

Up in the gallery, one med student leaned toward the other, “Damn, it there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s an organ recital!”

Q: How many French horn players does it take to change a light bulb?A: Just one, but he’ll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?A: To get away from the bassoon recital.

This is my version of the blink182 song all the smallthings

all the small things like your penis it so small you fuck the
wall say it ain’t so your mom is a hoe rip my dick of fuck me at
home na na na ah late night come home work sucks she left me
condoms on the stairs those things let me know she cares. say
it ain’t so your mom is a hoe

Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor?A: You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.

Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?A: Six. One to change it, five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light.

Disco is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art.

Q: How can you tell when there is a drummer at your front door?A: The knocking gets faster.

Q: What do you do with percussionists that lose one of their drumsticks?A: Stick them up front of the group and tell them to wave their arms!

Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw?A: One is loud, obnoxious and noisy; the other is a bird.

Trombone: a slide whistle with delusions of granduer.