Category: movies & tv

How do you piss off Winnie the Pooh?

Stick your finger in his honey!

A man has been trying to get on a game show for a number of
months. He finally gets the show, and is doing well, until the
$640,000 question. The host says, “Okay Bob, you’re doing well,
and here’s the $640,000 question!! It’s a two part question, you
can answer either part first.” “OK, says Bob, I’ll go for it.
I’ll take the second part first.” The host says, “OK, here is
the second part of the question; AND IN WHAT YEAR DID IT HAPPEN?”

Why are Tiggers paws always so brown?

Because he’s always playing with Pooh!

Did you hear they are making a sequel to “Silence of the Lambs,” and they
are filming in Cape Breton?

Yeah, its called “Ewes Be Quiet.”

There is man sitting in a bar who is really, really drunk. When
the bar closes he gets up to go home.

He stumbles and falls couple of times and finally manages to get
out of he door. As he gathers himself, he sees a nun passing by.
He stumbles over to her and starts punching her in the face.

The nun is shocked beyond belief, but before she could say
anything, he leans over and punches her again. This time the nun
hits the pavement. The drunk stumbles over to her, kicks her in
the butt, picks her up and throws her against the wall.

By now the nun is very weak and can barely move. He leans over
her, grabbing her by the collar of her habit and says, “Not
feeling too strong tonight, are you, Batman!”

10. “Look sir, droids!”
9. No time travlers picking up their own heads.
8. No alternate universes.
7. No transporters to save your butt at the last minute.
6. Aliens with makeup somewhere besides their foreheads.
5. Starship battles in 3 dimensions.
4. War, not neutral zones!
3. No ultra-powerful aliens with one-letter names.
2. No holodecks for lame plot ideas invented by actors.
1. Princess Leia in that slave girl outfit at Jabba’s!

The seven dwarfs were in a hot tub and started feeling sleepy.

So he got the hell out!