Category: middle eastern

What to do if you fall in a conversation with someone over the
terrorist attacks who doesn’t believe in retaliation.

1.Engage in a conversation, and ask if military force is
appropriate.

2.When he says “NO,” ask, “Why not?”

3.Wait untill he says something to the effect of “Because that
would just cause more innocent deaths, which would be awful and
we shouldn’t cause more violence.

4.When he is mid-sentence, punch him in the face as hard as you
can.

5.When he gets back up to punch you, point out that it would be
a mistake and contrary to his values to strike you, because that
would be awful and he shouldn’t cause more violence.

6.Wait till he agrees, and has pledged not to commit additional
violence.

7. Punch him in the face again, harder this time.

REPEAT STEPS 5 THROUGH 7 UNTIL HE UNDERSTANDS THAT SOMETIMES
IT’S NECESSARY TO STRIKE BACK!

What’s the difference between an Afghani woman and a catfish?

One has whiskers and smells really bad.

The other one’s a fish.

The bell rings and Billy and Sally, along with all the other
kids run through the classroom door. They all sit down in their
seats.

The teacher goes up to Sally and asks, “Sally what did you do
today at recess?” And Sally says happily.” I played in the sand
box.” The teacher then says,”If you can go up to the board and
spell SAND, then I will give you a fresh baked cookie. The Sally
goes up to the board and spells SAND and recieves a fresh baked
cookie.

The the teacher goes up to Billy and asks, “Billy, what did you
do at recess?” Billy replies,”I played in the sand box with
Sally.” The teacher replies, “OK, well if you can go up to the
board and spell BOX,then I will give you a fresh baked cookie.
Billy goes up to th board and spells BOX, then recieves a fresh
baked cookie.

The teacher moves on to Apu (a small muslim boy) and asks, “What
did you do today at recess?” Apu brushes the tears aside and
replies in a sad voice, “Billy and Sally threw rocks at me!” The
teacher looks at him and says, “Oh, well that sounds like racial
discrimination to me………….

if you can go up to the board and spell racial dicrimination,
I’ll give you a fresh baked cookie…”

Whats the difference between Christmas and terrorism attacks?

They don’t celebrate Christmas in Afghanistan.

How can you tell when an Afghanistan boy becomes and Afghanistan
man?

He takes the diaper off his ass and puts it on his head.

One day a Florist goes for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to
pay the Barber and the barber replies: ‘I am Sorry, I cannot
accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service’. The
Florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning the
Barber goes to open his shop, there is a Thank you Card and a
dozen roses waiting at his door. A Cop goes for a haircut and he
also goes to pay the Barber and the barber replies: ‘I am Sorry,
I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service’.
The Cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the
Barber goes to open his shop, there is a Thank you Card and a
dozen Donuts waiting at his door. An Indian goes for a haircut
and he also goes to pay the Barber and barber replies; ‘I’m
Sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community
Service’. The next morning when the Barber goes to open his
shop, Guess what he finds there – A dozen Indians waiting for a
free haircut……

What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Hiroshima?

Nothing…. yet.

Why were there no in flight movies on the September 11 planes ?
‘Cause there was a Telly Ban

Two Arabs boarded a shuttle out of Washington for New York. One
sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just
before take-off a fat, little Jewish guy got on and took the
aisle seat next to the Arabs. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled
his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat
said, “I think I’ll go up and get a Coke.” (Shuttle flights do
not have cabin attendants, but you probably knew that.) “No
problem,” said the Jew. “I’ll get it for you.” While he was gone
the Arab picked up the Jew’s shoe and spit in it.

The Jew brought back the coke, when the other Arab said, “That
looks good. Think I’ll have one too.” Again, the Jew obligingly
goes to fetch it, and while he is gone the Arab picks up the
other shoe and spits in it.

The Jew returns with the coke, and they all sit back and enjoy
the short flight. When the plane was landing the Jew slipped his
feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. “How
long must this go on?” he asked. “This enmity between our
peoples …this hatred…your spitting in my shoes and me
pissing in your Coke?”

An Egyptian and an Israeli are walking together in hte desert.
Suddenly, one of them finds a bottle full of coke. As rhe bottle
is opened,a ginie flies out and says” each of you has one wish,
choose carefully and i will grant it.” The Israeli says “I want
a huge wall around Israel, this wall should prevent anyone from
coming in or going out. The gine replied, your wish has been
granted, go home naad see for yourself. When the Ginie asked the
Egyptian, he said” can anyone get through that wall?”,”no,of
course not” “an anyone get out?’
of course not, “fine then fill it with water”.

‘Twas the night before Christmas in Old Kandihar,
And Osama Bin Laden felt far below par
For he’d been on the run since the day when the Yanks
Had first littered the landscape with the planes and the
tanks
That Osama’s buddies, those fierce Taliban kind,
Were supposed to be using to protect his behind.
So he put on his turban and took to his bed,
While visions of cruise missiles danced in his head.

Then up on the roof there arose such a clatter,
He sprang to his feet to see what was the matter,
And what to his wondering eyes did appear
But two squads of marines, in full battle gear.
And Taliban bodies flew left and flew right.
As they yelled ‘Semper Fi!’ and ‘oo-rahed’ in delight
And as two marines burst into the room,
He peed himself, because he knew they spelled doom.

“Death to the Infidel!” Osama cried,
“You’ve got it, buddy,” the grunts both replied
And bullets arrived in torrents and showers,
That left less of him than he’d left of the towers.
“oh, shit,” was his last thought as his spleen it was diced.
At least my soul’s headed straight to paradise,
But the heavenly streets made his soul’s face turn green
‘Cause the whole place was guarded by US Marines!

One day, Bush was talking with Osama Binladen on the phone, they
couldn’t trace from where the call was coming from, but Osama
said,
“I’ve got good news and bad news.”
Bush replied, “What’s the good news?”
“I’m turning myself in,” said Osama. “But the bad news is, I’m
coming on a plane