Category: math

If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my statistics class: it would seem so much longer.

Theorem: e=1Proof:2*e = f2^(2*pi*i)e^(2*pi*i) = f^(2*pi*i)e^(2*pi*i) = 1Therefore:2^(2*pi*i) = f^(2*pi*i)2=fThus:e=1

Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.

Did you know that 87.166253% of all statistics claim a precision of results that is not justified by the method employed?

A mathematician and a non-mathematician are sitting in an airport hall waiting for their flight to go. The non has terrible flight panic.”Hey, don’t worry, it’s just every 10000th flight that crashes.””1:10000? So much? Then it surely will be mine!””Well, there is an easy way out. Simply take the next plane. It’s much more probable that you go from a crashing to a non-crashing plane than the other way round. So you are already at 1:10000 squared.”

Never show a bar chart at an AA meeting.

A new government 10 year survey cost $3,000,000,000 revealed that 3/4 of the people in America make up 75% of the population.

“That math prof’s marriage is falling apart!”
“No wonder! He’s into scientific computing – and she’s incalculable!”

It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. Statistics show that those people who celebrate the most birthdays become the oldest. — S. den Hartog, Ph D. Thesis Universtity of Groningen.

Statisticians must stay away from children’s toys because they regress so easily.

If parallel lines meet at infinity – infinity must be a very noisy place with all those lines crashing together!

A very large mathematical convention was held in Las Vegas. The conventioneers filled two hotels, each with an infinite number of rooms. The hotels were across the street from each other and were owned by brothers. One evening, while everyone was out at a bar-b-que, one of the hotels burned to the ground. The brothers got together and worked out a plan. In the remaining hotel, they moved all guests to twice their room number — room 101 moved to 202, room 1234 moved to room 2468, etc. Then all the odd number rooms were empty, and there were an infinite number of odd rooms. So the guests from the other hotel moved into them.