Category: math

Q: Did you hear about the statistician who invented a device to measure the weight of trees?A: It’s referred to as the log scale.

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Mathmatician — 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, the rest follows by induction.

Statistician — 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is expermental error so throw it out, 11 is prime, 13 is prime, the rest follows by induction.

Computer Scientist — 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, ….

Zenophobia: the irrational fear of convergent sequences.

Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and multiply.

What do you call a dead parrot?

A Polygon.

How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.
If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb. Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

What is the square root of 69?

Ate something.

Q: Why don’t statisticians like to model new clothes?A: Lack of fit.

Theorem: 1$ = 1c.Proof:And another that gives you a sense of money disappearing.1$ = 100c= (10c)^2= (0.1$)^2= 0.01$= 1cHere $ means dollars and c means cents. This one is scary in that I have seen PhD’s in math who were unable to see what was wrong with this one. Actually I am crossposting this to sci.physics because I think that the latter makes a very nice introduction to the importance of keeping track of your dimensions.

Q: How many statisticians does it take to change a lightbulb?A: 1-3, alpha = .05

The only time a pie chart is appropriate is at a baker’s convention.

Theorem: 1 = 1/2:Proof:We can re-write the infinite series 1/(1*3) + 1/(3*5) + 1/(5*7) + 1/(7*9)+…as 1/2((1/1 – 1/3) + (1/3 – 1/5) + (1/5 – 1/7) + (1/7 – 1/9) + … ).All terms after 1/1 cancel, so that the sum is 1/2.We can also re-write the series as (1/1 – 2/3) + (2/3 – 3/5) + (3/5 – 4/7)+ (4/7 – 5/9) + …All terms after 1/1 cancel, so that the sum is 1.Thus 1/2 = 1.