Category: little johnny

What kind of bunny drinks coffee?

Mugs bunny!

why is eyeore always so dirty?
Because he plays around with Pooh!

One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn’t have to go to school the following Monday.

On the first Friday, the teacher asks, “How many grains of sand are in the beach?” Needless to say, no one could answer.

The following Friday, the teacher asks the class, “How many stars are in the sky?” and again no one could answer.

Frustrated, little Johnny decides that the next Friday, he would somehow answer the question and get a 3 day weekend. So Thursday night, Johnny takes two ping-pong balls and paints them black. The next day, he brings them to school in a paper bag.

At the end of the day, just when the teacher says, “Here’s this week’s question,” Johnny empties the bag to the floor sending the ping-pong balls rolling to the front of the room. Because they are young kids who find any disruption of class amusing, the entire class starts laughing.

The teacher says, ” Okay, who’s the comedian with the black balls?”
Immediately, little Johnny stands up and says, “Bill Cosby, see ya on Tuesday!”

Little Johnny has to stay at Grandma’s for the weekend. Being an old school gal, bathing Little Johnny with her, Grandma sees no harm. So, there they are in the shower and Johnny points to Grandma’s crotch and says, “Grandma, what’s that?!?”

Grandma, somewhat shocked, quickly replies, “That’s my beaver, Johnny.”

“Oh, okay.” And this answer seems to appease Johnny’s curiousity.

Well, Johnny returns home, and one morning, Mom is running late for work. She decides that to save time, she’d bathe Johnny with her. Off to the shower, and once again, Johnny sees something not so familiar to him. “Mom, what’s that?” asks Johnny pointing to Mom’s nether regions.

Taken back, Mom says, “Johnny, that’s my beaver.”

Johnny replies, “I thought so. I think Grandma’s is dead. Its tongue is hanging out and its all gray and wrinkled!”

A kindergarten teacher had a pupil tell her he had found a frog.

She inquired as to whether it was dead or alive.

“Dead,” she was informed.

“How do you know?” she asked.

“Because I pissed in his ear,” said the child innocently.

“You did WHAT?” squealed the teacher in surprise.

“You know,” explained the boy, “I leaned over and went ‘Pssst’. He didn’t move!”

A Kentucky teacher was quizzing her students. “Johnny, who signed the Declaration of Independence?”

He said, “Damn if I know.”

She was a little put out by his swearing, so she told him to go home and to bring his father with him when he came back. Next day, the father came with his son, sat in the back of the room to observe. She started back in on her quiz and finally got back to the boy.

“Now, Johnny, I’ll ask you again. Who signed the Declaration of Independence?”

“Well, hell, teacher,” Johnny said, “I told you I didn’t know.”

The father jumped up in the back, pointed a stern finger at his son, and said, “Johnny, if you signed that damn thing, hell, you damn well better admit it!”

This little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room. Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, “Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you’re bouncing up and down on him.”
His mom is taken by surprise and says, “Oh… well…ah….well I’m bouncing on his stomach because he’s fat and that makes him thin again.”

And the boy says, “Well, that won’t work!”

His mom says, “Why?!?”

And the boy replies, “Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!”

Proverbs as finished by a fourth grade class:

It is always darkest…Just before you flunk a test.

There is nothing new…under a rock.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with…a private jet.

A committee of three…gets things done when they are not fighting.

If you can’t stand the heat…try Antarctica.

Better late than…absent.

A rolling stone…may dent the floor.

If at first you don’t succeed…live with it.

Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry…and then blow your nose.

A bird in the hand is….better than a woodpecker on your head.

Early to bed, early to rise…and you will get the best cereal.

Two head…are pretty scary.

It is better to light a candle than…to light a bomb.

A miss is as good as…a mister.

A penny saved…is not a lot.

Don’t burn you bridges…or you’ll fall in the lake.

Haste makes…sweat

A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: “We used
to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree
in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.”

The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in.
at last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”

Teacher : How old is your father ?
Boy : As old as me.
Teacher : How can that be ?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.

Little Johnny is walking with his father in the park and they see two dogs locked in a sexual embrace. Little Johnny not understanding what the dogs are doing asks his father, “Daddy, what are those two dogs doing?” To which the father replies, “They are making a puppy!”

Later that night Johnny wakes up and walks down the hall to his parents bedroom and catches his mother and father making love. Johnny asks his father, “Daddy what are you and mommy doing?”

To which the father replies, “Johnny we are making you a little sister.”

Johnny thinks for a few moments and responds, “Well, daddy could you roll her over? I’d rather have a puppy!”

Three boys are playing outside just after dark, when one of them noticed a light on in a window. Billy says to Johnnie and Joey: “Let’s take a peek!” They look in the window and see a pretty woman undressing. Suddenly, Johnnie runs away and the other boys can’t find him. The next day, Billy and Joey see Johnnie and ask: “Why’d you run away, you some kind of faggot or something?”Johnnie replies: “No…My mother told me that if I ever do anything naughty, say anything naughty or even LOOK at anything naughty, God would turn me into stone. Well, when I looked in that window I started to get hard, so I ran away!”