Category: little johnny

One day, during English class, Miss Figpot asked her class, “Who can tell me the meaning of indifferent?”

The class fidgets a little, and they all look at one another. No one knows.

Finally, Little Johnny puts up his hand.

The teacher, hesitant to call on him because of his propensity for foul language and sexual innuendo, looks for another student to ask.

Finally, when no one else raises their hand, she says, “Yes, Johnny?”

“Miss Figpot, it means lovely.”

Relieved, but a little puzzled, the teacher says, “Johnny, can you explain why you think indifferent means lovely?”

“Sure, teach. Last night when I was in bed, I heard Mommy say, ‘That’s lovely’. Then Daddy said, ‘Yep, it’s in different.'”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by calamjo

how do wemen laugh

they fall down the shimney

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer
in public schools.

what is pink, red and black?
dead baby in a corner.

what is green, brown and black?
same baby ten weeks later.

Q. What is green and jumps??

A. a cabage on a trampalene

this is so funny. hahahahaha

why didnt the skeleton cross the road? he didnt have the guts to.

Two-year-old little Johnnie was being bounced up and down on his grandad’s knee when he suddenly asked, “gwandad, where do babies come fwom?”

Grandad was a bit shocked and thought a bit: he then said “why my boy, they come from the stork”.

After about two minutes litle Johnnie said “gwandad . . who fucks the stork?”

A teacher asks her class if anyone can use the word fascinate in a sentence.

Brian raises his hand and says, “The sky is fascinating.”

The teacher says, “No, that’s fascinating.”

Jennifer raises her hand and says, “When I saw the tigers at the zoo I was fascinated.”

The teacher says, “No, that’s fascinated.”

So finally Little Johnny raises his hand and says, “My mom bought a new blouse with 12 pearl buttons, but her boobs are so big she could only fasten eight!”

Submitted by calamjo
Edited by ���rt�� and yisman

Q. What happens when a frog parks illegaly?

A. It gets toad!

“Is your mother home?” the salesman asked a small boy sitting on the steps in front of a house. “Yeah, she’s home,” the boy said, scooting over to let him past. The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, “I thought you said your mother was home.” The kid replied, “She is; but this isn’t where I live.

Why was the bee flying around with his legs crossed?
He couldn’t find a BP station!

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?”

The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.”

The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four.

They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze!”

The second kid then asks, “What are you here for?”

The first kid says, “A circumcision.”

And the second kid says, “Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn’t walk for a year!”