Category: little johnny

Student: Can I use the bathroom?
Teacher: Okay but first say your ABC’s.

Students: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZ

Teacher: Where’s the P?
Student: Its running down my leg!

Little melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they
learned about the history of valentine’s day. “since valentine’s day is for a
christian saint and we’re jewish,” she asks, “will god get mad at me for giving
someone a valentine?”

melissa’s father thinks a bit, then says “no, i don’t think god would get mad.
who do you want to give a valentine to?”

“osama bin laden,” she says.

“why osama bin laden?” her father asks in shock.

“well,” she says, “i thought that if a little american jewish girl
could have enough love to give osama a valentine, he might start to think that
maybe we’re not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. and if
other kids saw what i did and sent valentines to osama, he’d love everyone a
lot. and then he’d start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he
loved them and how he didn’t hate anyone anymore.! ”

her father’s heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound pride.
“melissa, that’s the most wonderful thing i’ve ever heard.”

“i know,” melissa says, “and once that gets him out in the open, the marines
could blow the s*** out of him.”

The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books.
Willie came up to the teacher’s desk and said, “Miss Francis, I ain’t got no crayons.”

“Willie,” Miss Francis said, “you mean, “I don’t have any crayons.’ You don’t have any crayons. We don’t have any crayons. They don’t have any crayons. Do you see what I’m getting at?”

“Not really,” Willie said, “What happened to all them crayons?”

Little Willie had a gambling problem. He’d bet on anything. One day, Willie’s father consulted his teacher.The teacher said. “Mr.Gaines, I think I know how to teach Willie a real lesson. We’ll trap him into a big wager that he’ll lose.”Willie’s father agreed to cooperate with the plan.The next day at school, the teacher watched Willie making wagers with the other children, and she said, “Willie, I want you to remain after class.”When the others had left the classroom, Willie walked up to the teacher. Before she could say a word, he said, ” Dont say it, Miss Brown; I know what you’re going to say, but you’re a liar!””Willie!” the startled teacher said.” What are you talking about.””Your a fake!” Willie continued.”How can I believe anything you tell me? You’ve got this blond hair on top, but I’ve seen your bush and it’s pitch black!”Trying to keep her cool, the teacher said, “Willie that isn’t true.””I’ll bet a dollar it is !” Willie challenged.The teacher saw her chance to teach Willie his lesson.”Make it five dollars and you have a bet,” she said.”You’re on!” Willie whipped out a five dollar bill. Before anyone could come into the room, Miss Brown. dropped her panties, spread her legs, and showed Willie that her pubic hair was as blond as the hair on top of her head.Willie hung his head. “You win,” he said, handing her the fiver. Miss. Brown couldn’t wait for him to leave so she could get to a phone to call his father. She reported what had happened. “Mr. Gaines,” she said, “I think we’ve finally taught him his lesson.””The hell we have,” the father muttered. “This morning Willie bet me ten dollars that he’d see your pussy before the day was over.

Little Yitzhak was talking to his best friend Harry.
�Harry,� he says, �I was surrounded by lions in the park this afternoon.�
�What,� says Harry, �lions in the park?�
�Yes,� replies Yitzhak, �dandelions.�

The child was a typical four-year-old girl — cute, inquisitive, bright as a
new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage,
her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images
would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the
church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional etc.
“Now do you understand?” he asked.
“I think so,” she said, “…is that when mommy came to work for us?”

One Sunday, during the morning service, for the children’s sermon. All the children were invited to come forward.

One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, “That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?”

The little girl replied, directly into the pastor’s clip-on microphone, “Yes, and my Mom says it’s a bitch to iron.”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car?

Robin get in the car!

A unit in sex education was about to begin, and each student had to bring in a permission slip in order to take it.

Little Johnny handed in his slip and explained to the teacher, “My mom says I can take the course as long as there’s no homework.

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put some boogie in it!

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed.

She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?”

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t dear,” she said. “I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.”

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: “The big sissy.”

Submitted by Curtis
Editted by Calamjo

why do pigs fly because they have wings