Category: little johnny

a boy walked to school and on his way there he found a pile of rabbit turds. the boy slipped the turds into his pocket.
the boy went to the school house and sat at his desk.he would act like he was slipping the turds into his mouth but was really slipping them into his pocket.
a girl beside him asked wat he was taking and the boy responded ” im taking get smart pills”
the little girl says ” well get smart pills give me some of those. the boy reaches into his pocket and pulls out a turd and gave it to the girl. the girl slipped it into her mouth and screamed ” this taste like poopy” and the boy responds “look ur already getting smarter.

A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along.

“I’ll never do that again!” he told his mother that evening. “I didn’t catch a thing!”

“Oh, next time I’m sure she’ll be quiet and not scare the fish away,” his mother said.

The boy said, “It wasn’t that. She ate all the bait.”

Son:� dad, i have to do a special report for school. can i ask you a
question?”
father: “sure son. what’s the question?”

son: “what is politics?”

father: “well, let’s take our home for example. i am the wage earner, so let’s
call me “capitalism”. your mother is the administrator of money, so we’ll call
her “government”. we take care of your needs, so we’ll call you “the people”.
we’ll call the maid “the working class”, and your baby brother we can call “the
future”.

“do you understand, son?”

son: “i’m not really sure, dad. i’ll have to think about it”.

that night, awakened by his baby brother’s crying, the boy went to see what
was wrong. discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy
went to his parent’s room and found his mother sound asleep. he went to the
maid’s room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with
the maid. the boy’s knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid,
so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep.

the next morning he reported to his father. “dad, now i think i understand
what politics is”.

father: “good son! can you explain it to me in your own words?”

son: “well dad, while capitalism is screwing the working class, government is
sound asleep, the people are being completely ignored and the future is full of
s***”.

A little boy walks into his parents room and sees his mom bouncing up and down on top of his dad.

Mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worrying about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.

The son sees his Mom and asks, “What were you and dad doing?”

The mother replies “Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it.”

“You’re wasting your time.” says the boy.

“Why is that?” asks his Mom, puzzled.

“Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up.”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman

One day a father and son are flying a kite. The kite is going in circles and
crashing. The father comforts the son and the mother yells, “ou need more
tail!”
The father then tells the son, “Son, I will never understand your mom.
Last night when we were having ‘fun’ I asked her for more tail and she told me
to go fly a kite.”

Little Susie was Mommy’s helper. She helped set the table when company was due for dinner. Soon, everything was on, Mr. Smythe the guest came in, and everyone sat down.

Then Mother noticed something was missing….

“Susie, dear,” she said, “You didn’t put a knife and fork at Mr. Smythe’s place.”

“But, Mommy, I thought he wouldn’t need them,” explained Susie. “Daddy says he always eats like a horse!”

sfet

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat.
She asked if it was dead or alive.

“Dead,” she was informed.

“How do you know?”, she asked.

“Because I pissed in his ear and it didn’t move,” said the child innocently.

“You did WHAT?!?”, the teacher squealed in surprise.

“You know,” explained the boy, “I leaned over and went ‘pssst’ and he didn’t move.”

A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.

“Here is the situation,” she said.

“A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.

His wife hears the commotion, knows he can’t swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?”

A little girl raised her hand and asked, “To draw out all his savings?”

A manager in a big company needed to contact one of his employees about an
urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee’s home
phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered voice on the first ring,
“Hello?”

“Is your Daddy home?” the boss quickly asked. “Yes”, whispered the small
voice. May I talk with him?” the man asked, feeling somewhat put-off by this
delay. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, “No.”

Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your Mommy there?” “Yes”,
came the answer. “May I talk with her?” Again the small voice whispered, “No.”

“Son, is there any one there besides you?” the boss impatiently asked the
child. “Yes”, whispered the child, “A policeman.”

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked,
“May I speak with the policeman?” “No, he’s busy”, whispered the child. “Busy
doing what?” asked the boss. “Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman”, came
the whispered answer.

Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter
through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, “What is that noise?” “A
hello-copper.”, answered the whispering voice. “What is going on there?” asked
the boss, now alarmed. In an awed voice the child answered, “The police just
landed the hello-copper!”

Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked, “Why
are they there?”

After a muffled giggle, the young voice replied in a very low whisper,
“They’re looking for me!”

Q. Where do polar bears vote?

A. The North Poll

I made myself a snowball
As perfect as can be.
I thought I’d make a pet of it
and let it sleep with me.

I made it some pajamas
and a pillow for its head,
Then last night it ran away,
But first….. it wet the bed!

Editted by Curtis and Murillos