Category: little johnny

Question: Why did the man wear to pars of pants to the golf course?

Answer: Just in case he got a hole in one.

There was once a woman who owned a dog that she named Titswiggle.

One day when she came home from work she discovered that her beloved dog had run away.

She was out all night asking if anyone had seen a loose dog.

Nobody had seen him that night but the next morning she met a little boy who said that he had seen a stray dog. The dog he described matched hers exactly.

Upon finding out this information she asked the young boy, “Have you seen my Titswiggle?”

Then the boy said, “No, but can that be my reward?”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci

The eight-year old boy had never spoken a word-ever. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, “Soup’s cold.”
His astonished mother exclaimed, “Son, I’ve waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you never said a thing. Why haven’t you spoken before?”

The boy looked at her and replied, “Up until now, everything’s been okay.”

What did the salad say when the cabbage interrupted their meal?
Lettuce alone!

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On his way in to our local grocery, my husband was stopped by a gaggle of small girls selling Girl Scout cookies.
When he said Yes, he’d take a box, a Brownie asked, “What kind?”

Helpfully he inquired, “Oh, let’s see – which is your slowest seller?”

The tiny spokesperson thought a minute, then, pointing toward another girl, stating emphatically, “Brittany!”

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.

GEORGE: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS: George!

Submitted by ���rt��
Edited by calamjo

A rancher was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his four-year-old son tanding at the fence, wide-eyed and soaking in the whole event.

The rancher thought to himself, “Great, now I’m gonna have to explain the ‘birds and bees’. Well, no need to jump the gun. I’ll just let him ask the questions and I’ll answer as best I can.”

After everything was over, the Rancher walked over to his son and said, “Well, son, do you have any questions?”

“Just one,” gasped the still wide-eyed lad. “How fast was that calf going when he hit the cow?”

One can pity the father with three kids in college.
He tells his wife that they are getting poorer by degrees.

Teacher: Julie, please give me a sentence starting with “I”.
Julie: I is…

Teacher: No, Julie. Always say, “I am.”

Julie: All right . . . “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer.

One day little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if he could buy him a $200 bicycle for his birthday.

Johnny’s father said, “Johnny, we have a $80,000 mortgage on the house, and you want me to buy you a bicycle? No way, wait until Christmas.”

Finally, Christmas came around, and Johnny asked again.

The father said, “Look, the mortgage is still extremely high. Sorry kiddo, but we just can’t afford it. Ask me again next year.”

So, 2 days later, the father saw the boy walking out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. The father asked him why he was leaving.

The boy replied, “I was walking past your room last night and I heard you say that you were pulling out, and Mommy screamed that you should wait because she was coming too! I’ll be damned if I’M gettin’ stuck with an $80,000 mortgage!”