“What do you want to be when you grow up little Johnny?””A doctor?””And why is that?””Because it’s the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill.”
Category: little johnny
Breakfast
One morning, little Avrahom is eating his cheese and tomato sandwich when his
mother says to him, �Do you know what cheese is made backwards?�
�No, mum.�
�Edam.�
Johnny, Billy, and Tommy
Johnny, Billy, and Tommy were walking home from school one warm spring day. As they were cutting through the alleys and back yards they happened to look through a hole in the fence of one of the yards, where a woman was sunbathing in the nude. As they looked through the hole, suddenly Billy started to scream and took off running for home. He ran so fast that his 2 friends, trying to catch him were soon left far behind.
The next day, as they came home again, they found the same hole in the fence and started to watch the woman. again, after just a few minutes, Billy started screaming, and took off like a shot. On the third day, Johnny and tommy agreed on a plan. They would be between Billy and home if he started to run, and they would find out what the problem was.
Just as before, Billy could only look for a few minutes then he started to run for home. This time, Johnny and Tommy grabbed him and demanded to know what was wrong. “My mother told me that if I ever looked at a naked woman, I would turn to stone. I started to feel something getting awfully hard …”
Playing President
A little boy and a little girl were sitting on the porch talking, when the little girl suddenly winked and asked, “Do you want to get undressed and we can play doctor?”
The little boy replied, “That’s too old fashioned, spit out your gum, I want to play President.”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
It hurts!
q. What did the scientist say when his son dropped a computer on his foot?
a. He said “It mega hertz!”
Jewelry
Mother is in the kitchen making supper for her family when her youngest daughter walks in.
Child: Mother, where do babies come from?
Mother: Well dear, a mommy and daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their room…they kiss and hug and have sex. (The daughter looks puzzled.)
That means the daddy puts his penis in the mummy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.
Child: Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into you and daddy’s room, you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when a you do that?
Mother: Jewelry, dear!
Submitted by ���rt��
Edited by Clark Kent
A sleeping bag with a yummy content
What do u call a golden sleeping bag with two skinny black people in it?
A twix
Longest word
What’s the longest word?
Smiles!
Why? Because it has a mile in it!
Daughter’s Prayer
A family was having some people to dinner. At the table, the mother turned to
her six- year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?
” I wouldn’t know what to say,” replied the little girl.
“Just say what you hear Mommy say,” the woman said.
Her daughter bowed her head and said: “Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite
all these people to dinner?”
The Boy Who Thinks He’s A Chicken
Girl to Doctor: Doctor, Help! My brother thinks he’s a chicken!
Doctor: How long has this been going on?
Girl: About a year.
Doctor: Wow! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?
Girl: Because we needed the eggs!
Yo momma
yo momma so fat she jumped in the ocean and all the whales started singing “we are family” writin by hannahwhittiker2003 an victoriawhittiker2004
I need a bike
A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed his mum’s bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, ‘I need a man, I need a man.’Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day Johnny came home from school and heard her moaning again. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself and moaned, ‘Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!’