Category: little johnny

knock knock.
who`s there?.
boo!
boo who?
sorry to make you cry.

My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

A lady and her baby get on a bus. The bus driver looks at
the lady, and then her baby, and then screams, “AHHHH!
That’s the ugliest child I’ve ever seen in my life!”
The lady then, totally disgusted, marches up to the back of
the bus to sit down.

As she was sitting there absolutely furious, a man
asks, “Are you ok, dear?”

The lady replies, “I’m so angry, that bus driver just
insulted me.”

The man says, “You go back up there and give that bus
driver a piece of your mind, and I’ll watch your monkey.”

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence.

Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What are you doing there, Nancy?”

“My goldfish died,” replied Nancy tearfully without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.”

The neighbor was very concerned.
“That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?”

Nancy patted down the last heap of dirt then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your stupid cat!”

A teacher asks her class to use the word contagious.

Roland, the class swot, gets up and says, ‘Last year I got the measles and my Mum said it was contagious.’

‘Well done Roland,’ says the teacher. ‘Can anyone else try?’

Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails says, ‘My Gran says there’s a bug going round and it’s contagious.’

‘Well done, Katie,’ says the teacher. ‘Anyone else?’

Little Johnny jumps up and says, ‘Our next door neighbor is painting his house with a 4 cm brush and my Dad says it will take the contagious.’

There was a indian boy and his mother. Mom can I ask you something? Sure. Where did you get my name? Same way i got ur brother and sister on the way to the hospital to have you. I named you of what i saw on the way there. I saw flowing creek which is ur sister and tall wide tree which is ur brother. Why do you ask 2 dogs peeing?

One breakfast time, little Rebecca says to her mum, �What two things can’t you
have for breakfast, mum?�
�I don�t know?�
�Lunch and dinner, of course.�

Newly assigned officers at Norfolk Naval Air Station here in Virginia are quite often “adopted” by a family. One such young officer, a Lt. Commander, became an ‘Uncle’ to the family’s little 5 year old daughter.

One Sunday, he asked her what she had learned in Sunday School. Aware of his rank and standing in the service, she beamed and said, “We learned all about the ten commanders, Uncle Joe. They’re always broke!”

will you remeber me tomorrow?
will you remeber me next week?
will you remeber me next month?
will you remeber me next year?
knock knock (whos there) see you forgot me already.

Women forty-nine years old are having their first child. Forty-nine! I couldn’t think of a better way to spend my golden years. What’s the advantage of having a kid at forty-nine? So you can both be in diapers at the same time?

1) You’re Different — And That’s Bad

2) The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables

3) Robert: Dad’s New Wife

4) Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share

5) The Kids’ Guide to Hitchhiking

6) Kathy Was So Bad That her Mom Stopped Loving Her

7) Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence

8) All Cats Go to Hell

9) The Little Sissy That Snitched

10) Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet be Friends?

11) That’s It, I’m Putting You Up for Adoption.

12) Grandpa Gets a Casket

13) 101 Things You Can Do at the Bottom of the Pool

14) The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator

15) Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear

16) The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy

17) Strangers Have the Best Candy

18) Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way

19) You Were an Accident

20) Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will

21) Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

22) Your Nightmares Are Real

23) Where Would You Like to be Buried?

24) You’ve Got Hepatitis B, Charlie Brown

25) Valuable Protein and Other Nutritional Benefits of Things from Your Nose

One Sunday, little David is with his parents on a boat on the river Thames.
His dad asks him, �What do you think sea monsters eat, David?�
�I don�t know, dad.�
�Fish and ships.�