Category: little johnny

A teenager goes to a doctor for a checkup.

When she removes her blouse, he checks her breathing and says, ” Big breaths.”

She replies, “Yeth, and I’m only thickteen.”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo

There was this women and she had 3 triplets
While she was having them she got shoot 3 times

When they were about 6 the one girl comes down stairs and says to her mom ” mom something really weired just happened to me then.”
her mom replies “what”
the girl says ” i went to the loo and a bullet came out”

The next girl comes down stairs and says “mom something really weired just happened to me then”
The mom says “let me guess you went to the loo and a bullet came out”
The girl says “yeh how do you know?”

The boy comes down stairs and says “mom something really weired just happened to me then”
The mom says “let me guess you went to the loo and a bullet came out”
The boy says “NO. I had a wank and i shot the dog.”

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.Eventually little Johnny’s turn came. Little Johnny walked up to the front of the class and, with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, waited a short time and make a second small white dot next to the first.Well the teacher couldn’t figure out what Johnny had in mind for his report, so she asked him just what that was.’It’s a period,’ reported Johnny.’Yes, I can understand that,’ she said, ‘but what is so exciting about a period?”Damned if I know,’ said Johnny, ‘but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mummy fainted, and the man next door shot himself.’

there was a little kid named jr and he hurd is sisther say bicth and he asked is sisther what does bicth mean and his sisther said it means a old lady and then he hurd is dad say shit and he asked hid dad what does shit mean and he said food and then he hurdd hid mom say fuck and he asked hid mom wat does fuck mean and she said when your changing your close so his grandma came to hid house and he esaid come in bicth there is shit on thee table and my parrnts are fucking up stars

“A family was watching the film: ‘The Greatest Story Ever Told’ together.
Their seven year old daughter was greatly moved.

As Jesus journeyed to Calvary, tears rolled down her cheeks. She was
absolutely silent until after Jesus had been laid in the tomb.

Then, catching her father’s eyes, she suddenly grinned: “Now,” she said,
“comes the GOOD part!”

Little Johnny’s dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a condom about to give his girlfriend some.

Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says, “Whatcha doin’ daddy?”

Johnny’s dad stoops over to cover-up his dick and starts looking at the floor. “Oh I’m just looking for this big rat I saw.” he says.

Little Johnny says, “Whatcha gonna do, fuck it?”

Q. Why do cows have bells?

A. Becuase thier horns dont work!!

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed.
She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?”

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.

“I can’t, dear,” she said. “I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.”

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: “The big sissy.”

Q. What did the policeman say to his tummy?
A. Your under a vest!!!!

13> You’re no longer allowed in Chuck E. Cheese’s.

12> Your enjoyment of dinner over stimulates her customers at the gentlemen’s club.

11> All that crack in her breast milk makes you awfully jittery during first grade “story time.”

10> You’re starting to leave after-meal hickeys.

9> Prolonged nursing has created an intra-mammary vacuum, threatening to suck your face in through the nipple.

8> You celebrate getting your driver’s license by having breast milk and cookies.

7> Your denture adhesive keeps gumming up her nipples.

6> Those nasty “stubble burn” marks are taking days to heal.

5> A mouthful of dust just ain’t worth the two-hour drive to the retirement home anymore.

4> She keeps getting your lunch break schedule at Radio Shack all wrong.

3> Your designs for the Spruce Goose are almost complete.

2> You missed the prom because your braces got caught in Mom’s nipple ring.

1> Dad always bogarts both nipples.

[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2000 by Chris White ]

Q. What do you get when a cow gets stuck in an Earth quake? A. A milk shake!

What did the Science book say to the math book?
You gotta lotta problems