Category: little johnny

A three-year-old little boy was examing his testicles while taking a bath.

Mama,he asked, are these my brains?

Mama answered, not yet son.

Why cant babies get married?

Because they dont know how to tie the knot!

There were two kids one was named mind ur bisness and the other one was named trouble and they were playing in the woods and trouble got lost so mind ur bisness went to the police station and told the officer wat happened the officer said ok wat is ur name the kid said mind ur bisness wat is ur name son and the kid said mind ur bisness and the officer said r u looking for “trouble” and the kid said yea were is he.

Little Jonny asked his mother “Ma, is it true that people can be taken apart like machines?””Of course not, where did you hear such nonsense?” replied by his motherLittle Jonny answered ” The other day, Daddy was talking to someone on the phone, and he said that he screwed the ass off his secretary.”

There are more jokes like this at http://www.dirtylaughs.com

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.

The first one says, “Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow.”

The second one says, “Ha! You think that’s fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet.”

The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head.

He then says, “You two know nothing about fast. My father is a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45!”

Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis

At a friend’s wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle.

The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests.

Asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, “I was just trying to be a good ring bear.”

A young child walks into a corner store and picks up a big box of laundry
detergent.
The storekeep trying to be friendly says, “Got a lot of laundry to do?”
The boy says, “Haha no. I’m actually going to go wash my dog with it.”
The storekeep says, “Son, that stuff is very powerful. If you use it to wash
your dog the dog might become sick or even die!”
The boy replies, “Dont worry, he’ll be fine.”
And the boy leaves. The next day the boy returns to buy some candy.
The storekeep asks the boy about his dog and how the washing went.
The boy replies sadly, “He died…”
The storekeep says as gently as he can, “I’m sorry son. But I warned you this
might happen if you wash the dog with detergent.”
The boy replies, “I dont think it was the laundry detergent that killed him. I
think it was the spin cycle.”

Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue?
A: We have to stick together.

IF YOU HAVE 3 APPLES AND TAKE 2 THEN HOW MANY DO YOU HAVE?

2.

Q: What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A: He called a toe truck.

My two-year-old cousin scared us one summer by disappearing during our
lakeside vacation. More than a dozen relatives searched the forest and
shoreline, and everyone was relieved when we found Matthew playing calmly in the
woods.
“Listen to me!” his mother said sharply, “From now on when you want to
go someplace, you tell Mommy first, okay?”
Matthew thought about that for a moment and said: “Okay, Disney World.”

A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, “How was I born?”

“Well honey..” said the slightly prudish parent “the stork brought you to us.”

“Oh,” said the boy. “Well, how did you and daddy get born?”

“Oh, the stork brought us too.”

“Well how were grandpa and grandma born?” he persisted.

“Well darling, the stork brought them too!” said the parent, by now starting to squirm a little in the Lazy Boy recliner.

Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence: “This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn’t been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations.”