Category: little johnny

Q: What did the painter say to the wall?
A: One more crack and I’ll plaster you.

Once upon a time there were three kids named shutup,stupidandmaners.One day they were looking for stupid and a police came up to stupid and said whats your name? shutup wats your name?shutupwats your name?shutupwheres your? maners over there.

why did the chiken cross the park?
to get to the other slide…

from abigail melarangi
age 8

Mr. Smythe had been giving his second-grade students a short lesson on science. He had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. And now it was question time…

“Class,” said he, “My name begins with the letter `M’ and I pick up things…. What am I?”

A little boy on the front row said, “You’re a mother!”

What did the whale spread on his toast?

Jellyfish!!!!!

Dad, can I ask you something?
Sure! What about?

You see, I’m already fourteen and…I think it’s just proper that I should own one.
And what is this ‘one’ you’re referring to?
Could you buy me a neat set of brassieres?
No!
My nipples are already prominent and it catches attention.
Nope!
It will be just proper at my age…
I said no way…!
But all of my friends wear…
Timmy! How many times shall I tell you that bras are for girls!?

Q: What’s the difference between the dinosaur and a dragon…?

A: Dinosaurs are too young to SMOKE!

At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth” even when you don’t know anything.

The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted by his mother at the front door he says, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.”

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.”

The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms and says, “Then come give your FATHER a big hug!”

two sisters with there family came frome Rassia to our cantry Ethiopia this year for the first time. me and the elder sister were talking about our difrenses when suddenly came the topic of calender. she was saying”how come your calender is 1997?” ” thats becase we were created 7 years after you” i joked her little sister interepted and sayed “is that becase you gays dont have a snow.”

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly
the little girl looked down at the boy.

“Can I touch it?”

“No way — you already broke yours off!”

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school.

He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment.

Then a new school year began.

The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trashcan they encountered.

The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action.

The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street.

Stopping them, he said, “You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that.

In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age.

Will you do me a favor? I’ll give you each a dollar if you’ll promise to come around every day and do your thing.”

The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trashcans.

After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad smile on his face.

“This recession’s really putting a big dent in my income,” he told them. “From now on, I’ll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans.”

The noisemakers were obviously displeased, but they accepted his offer and continued their afternoon ruckus.

A few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street.

“Look,” he said, “I haven’t received my Social Security check yet, so I’m not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay?”

“Only a quarter?” the drum leader exclaimed. “If you think we’re going to waste our time, beating these cans around for a quarter, you’re nuts!”

“No way, dude. We quit!”

And the old man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days.

what do you get if you cross a jeep with a dog?

a land rover