Category: little johnny

A Professor, who was lecturing in class happen to realise that one of his student lack respect.infact he grew upset with him and he ask him to stood in present of the class, and he said i quote ” you don,t have single respect in you”. Infact, the girl said in reply by saying, sir i have red skirt just that i forgot to bring i talong with me while i was coming to lecture. therefore the Professor could not even wait to laugh because the level of his student understanding is disastrous.

All children who entered the world in the 1980s and later were born with a special mutated gene that enables them to know which buttons to push on electronic gadgets.

Some kids got introble at the zoo,so the maniger asks each kid what is your name and what did you do.The man ask saly and saly said i through Penuts into the elafant pen.then he askd james and james said i thourgh penuts in the elefant pen.then he ask fran and fran said i thourgh penuts in the elafant pen.Then he asks penuts and penut said….they through me in the elefant pen!:)(sorry cant spell)

A little girl asked her mother for a dollar to give to an old lady in the park.

Her mother was touched by the child’s kindness and gave her the required sum.

“There you are, dear,” said the mother. “But, tell me, isn’t the lady able to work any more?”

“Oh yes,” came the reply. “She sells candy!”

Tommy, Johnny and Harry were standing around bullshitting about how tough their fathers were.

“My dad went 12 rounds with Mike Tyson. Lick that!” said young Harry.

“Well, my dad did two tours of Vietnam and killed 19 men… so lick that!” Tommy said.

“That’s nothing!” declared little Johnny. “My dad hasn’t wiped his ass in 10 years… so lick that!”

One night little Johnny got up to get a drink of water…. while walking past his parents he was forced to stop and scream daddy daddy what are you doing to mommy. The dad simply replied mmmm� just making your brother Johnny �..go back to bed. The next day when the dad got home from work he found Johnny crying on the stoop ….he asked Johnny what was wrong and Johnny replied oh daddy this morning I saw the mailman trying to eat my new brother

Hey bob,”Will you rember me tomorrow??” “Yes” “Will you rember me
next week??” “Yes” “Will you rember me next month??” “Yes” “Will
yoiu rember me next year??” “Yeah” “Knock Knock” “Whos There??”
“See, you forgot me already!!!!!!”

How did captain hook die he scratched his arse wid the wrong hand

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?”

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t dear,” she said. “I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.”

A long silence was broken at last by his shaking little voice: “The big sissy.”

One day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit.

“Now class, I’m going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit, and you tell what fruit I’m talking about. Okay, first: it’s round, plumb and red.”

Of course, Johnny raised his hand high, but the teacher, wisely ignored him and picked Deborah, who promptly answered “An apple.”

The teacher replied, “No Deborah, it’s a beet, but I like your thinking. Now for the second. It’s soft, fuzzy,and colored red and brownish.”

Well, Johnny is hopping up and down in his seat trying to get the teacher to call on him. But she skips him again and calls on Billy. “Is it a peach?” Billy asks.

“No, Billy, I’m afraid it’s a potato. But I like your thinking,” the teacher replys. “Here’s another: it’s long, yellow, and fairly hard.”

By now Johnny is about to explode as he waves his hand frantically. The teacher skips him again and calls on Sally. “A banana,” she says.

“No,” the teacher replies, “it’s a squash, but I like your thinking.”

Johnny is kind of irritated now, so he speaks up loudly. “Hey, I’ve got one for you teacher; let me put my hand in my pocket. Okay, I’ve got it: it’s round, hard, and it got a head on it.”

“Johnny!” she cries. “That’s disgusting!”

“Nope,” answers Johnny, “it’s a quarter, but I like your thinking!”

Little Jimmy bit his fingernails all the time. His parents tried everything to
get him to stop, but to no avail. Finally, his mother, exasperated, decided to
tell him a little white lie to get him to stop.

“Jimmy,” she said, “You’d better stop biting your fingernails. If you don’t,
then those fingernails will pile up inside your stomach and soon your stomach
will be huge and full of fingernails.” Jimmy, worried about the idea of
fingernails in his stomach, agreed to stop.

The next day, Jimmy and his mom were shopping in a supermarket. They went to
check out, and a pregnant woman was waiting in line in front of them. Jimmy
beamed at the pregnant woman and said, “I know what YOU’VE been doing….”

First ask his name. You should flirt for about 1 min.Ask him what he likes,then tell him what you like.If you like the same things say (me too) then tell him 3 things about him you like.

Jackie,9