Category: little johnny

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.

She quickly turned and asked, “What’s so funny Pat?”

“Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters.”

“Get out of my classroom,” she yells, “I don’t want to see you for three days.”

The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student.

She quickly turns and asks, “What’s so funny Billy?”

“Well miss, I just saw both of your garters.”

Again she yells, “Get out of my classroom!” This time the punishment is more severe, “I don’t want to see you for three weeks.”

Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.

“Where do you think you are going?” she asks.

“Well teacher, from what I just saw, my school days are over.”

about student

What do you call Toys R’ Us in the hood?

“We B Toyz N’ Shit”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci

Q: Where does your nose go, when it gets hungry?

A: Booger King!!!

Q: What’s red and goes up and down?
A: A tomato in an elevator.

Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue?
A: We have to stick together.

Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster?
A: Hello, hello.

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldoser.

Q: When is a baseball player like a thief?
A: When he steals a base.

Q: What did the can say to the can opener?
A: You make me flip my lid.

Q: What is a volcano?
A: A mountain with the hiccups.

Q: What do you find at the end of everything?
A: The letter “g”.

Q: What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A: He called a toe truck.

Q: Why do two skunks argue?
A: Because they like to kick up a stink.

Q: What did the adding machine say to the cashier?
A: You can count on me.

Q: What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
A: Put them in a barking lot.

Q: Why did the cat sleep with a fan on?
A: He wanted to be a cool cat.

Q: What did the painter say to the wall?
A: One more crack and I’ll plaster you.

Q: Why is baseball like a cake?
A: They both need batters.

Q: What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion?
A: Take me to your weeder.

Q: What kind of shoes do you make with banana skins?
A: Slippers!

Q: What did the rug say to the floor?
A: I’ve got you covered!

Q: How do you make antifreeze?
A: You steal her blanket.

Q: Why does a cow wear a bell?
A: Because her horns don’t work.

Spoiled! When he was a new born his parents hired another baby to wet this diapers for him.

What have an apple and an orange got in common?

Neither of them can drive a tractor!

Little Johnny comes home from school one day and asks his dad for help on his homework. “Sure I’ll help you Johnny what’s the assignment?”

“The teacher says that we need to have a good understanding of the U.S. government by class time tomorrow.”

“Oh, well here just look at it like this: your mother can represent the government, I’ll be Congress, the maid can be the working class, you can be the people, and your little baby brother will be the future.”

Johnny remains confused even with his fathers great analogy, and his father suggests that he sleep on it. So that night Johnny hears his little brother crying and discovers that he needs to be changed. So he goes into his mother’s room and finds her sleeping. Then he goes to the maids room, looks through the key hole and see’s his dad fucking the maid.

Out of ideas Johnny merely goes back to bed. And when his father asks him if he understands the government yet he says, “Yes.”

“Lets hear it,” says his father.

“Well,” says Johnny, “Congress is fucking the working class while the government remains sleeping, the people are being ignored and the futures full of shit.”

Which day does a fish hate?

Fryday

Q: What did the adding machine say to the cashier?
A: You can count on me.

Two twins, Donny and Johnny, are asked by their parents what they each would like for their 10th birthday.
“I’d like a new bike” says Donny. “Then I could ride around and see everything that happens in the neighborhood”.
“And I’d like a radio for my room” says Johnny. “Then I would hear all the news that goes on in town”.
So their parents buy them the gifts. Later on that day, Donny is out on his bike when he comes upon a serious car crash. There are bodies and emergency vehicles all over.
“I gotta go tell Mom” says Donny, so he races back to the house and shouts “Mom! There’s been a terrible accident!”
“Yeah, yeah” says his brother, “We heard all about it on my new radio.”
Donny is disappointed he could not be first with the news, so he leaves on his bike. A little while later, he comes upon a burning orphanage.
“Wow! I gotta go tell Mom.”
So he races home again and yells for his Mom, but again Johnny interupts and says “We heard it all on my new radio.”
Once again Donny leaves disappointed. He rides and rides until he is out in the country. He sees a big, fat pig all alone in a field, and decides since he appears to be alone, to fuck the pig. He has his first orgasm and is so excited he thinks “I gotta go tell Mom!”
He races home and yells “Mom, Mom! I lost my virginity!”
His brother says with a sneer, “In a pig’s ass you did!”
And Donny says “That FUCKIN’ radio!!!”

The teacher, brought a Venus statue in class and asks: “What do you like best about it?”

“The artwork,” says Robert.
“Very good. And you, Peter?”

“Tits!”

“Peter, get out! And you, Johnny?”

“I’m leaving, teacher, I’m leaving.”