Category: little johnny

Boy: Will you punish me for something I didn’t do?

Teacher: Of course not!

Boy: Good, cuz I didn’t do my homework!

A science teacher set up a simple experiment to show her class the danger of alcohol. She set up 2 glasses, one containing water, the other containing gin. Into each she dropped a worm.

The worm in the water swam merrily around. The worm in the gin quickly died.

“What does this experiment prove?” she asked.

Little Johnny from the back row piped up: “It proves that if you drink gin you won’t have worms”

fuck you

How many A.D.D. kids does take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer-I dunno let go ride bikes.

QUESTION :WHERE DO ANTS GO WHEN THEY ARE
HUNGRY?

ANSWER : THEY GO TO A RESTAURANT.

A primary school teacher in the Bronx decided to see how many of the city kids knew what sounds farm animals made. She asked the kids to put their hands up if they knew the corect sound. “Who knows what sound a cow makes?” she asked.

Mary put her hand up and said “Moooo!”

“Very good” replied the teacher,”what sound do sheep make?”

“Maaaa” answered Johnny.

She continued this for a while. Then she asked “What sound does a pig make?”

All the hands in the class went up. She was surprised at the response. She chose the shy little boy at the back of the class. He stood up, took a deep breath, and screamed “Up against the wall mutha-fucka!!”

I don’t think my mom knows much about children.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because she always puts me to bed when I am wide awake and gets me up when I
am sleepy.”

According to a news report, a certain private school in
Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A
number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick
and would put it on in the bathroom.
That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they
would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of
little lip prints.

Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the
next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the
principal decided that something had to be done. She called
all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the
maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints
were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to
clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the
mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls
how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled
squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror
with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the
mirror.

There are teachers, and then there are educators…

Two brothers, aged 7 and 4, were in their room getting dressed before breakfast.

“I say it’s time started swearing like Dad” said the 7 year old. “So, when we go down to breakfast, I’ll use the word ‘damn’ and you use the word ‘ass’.”

“OK” said the 4 year old.

When the boys get to the kitchen they hop up on to their chairs at the table.

“What do you want for breakfast, boys ?” asked their Mother.

“Let me have some damn Cheerios” said the 7 year old.

One second later the Mother took her wooden spoon and laid it across his behind with a loud “Crack!” Screaming at the top of his lungs the 7 year old ran upstairs.

“And what will YOU have for breakfast?” said the Mother turning to the 4 year old.

“Well, I’m not sure”, he said, “But you can bet your ass it isn’t going to be Cheerios.”

“Mommy, all the kids at school say I’m a werewolf! Is that true?”
“No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face.”

The teacher says, “Children, today I will ask each of you to come to the front of the class and use a word in a sentence.

Today’s word is “beautiful”. Little Sally, would you please come up here and use “beautiful” in a sentence?”

Little Sally walked to the front of the room, thought for a moment and said, “Teacher, my mom is the most beautiful woman in the world.”

Teacher says, “Very good, Little Sally, you may sit. Little Frankie, your turn.”

Little Frankie walked to the front of the room, thought for a moment and said, “Teacher, the sunrise this morning was the most beautiful sunrise I have ever seen.”

Teacher says, “Very good, Little Frankie, you may sit. Little Johnny, it’s your turn.”

Little Johnnie walked to the front of the room, thought for a moment and said, “Teacher, last night my big sister told my dad that she was pregnant and he said…
‘Beautiful, just fuckin’BEAUTIFUL!'”

Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis

The two teenagers were arrested for public lewdness and possession of marijuana when they were found naked, each smoking a joint, sitting on the edge of the fountain in the town square.

The arresting officer told them they were entitled to a phone call, since he was unable to reach either parent.

Some time later, a man entered the station and the sergeant said, “I suppose you’re the kids’ lawyer.”

“Nope,” the chap replied. “I’m just here to deliver them a pizza.”