Category: little johnny

A father and son went hunting together for the first time. The father said
“Stay here and be VERY QUIET. I’ll be across the field.” A few minutes later the
father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son asking “What’s
wrong? I told you to be quiet.”

The son answered, “Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet.
I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck. But when the two chipmunks
crawled up my pant legs and said “Should we eat them here or take them with us?”
I panicked…

two piegons were screwing .seeing that suddenly girl shouts see see two two piegons and piegons above piegons .rest of the child also shout wd her making slogan hey piegon above piegon

Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain or, having children will turn you into your parents.

Why did the rabbit cross the road? – Chicken’s day off!

Little Johnny was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den.

The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Johnny’s violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly.

The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could.

Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, “For Pete’s sake, can’t you play something the dog doesn’t know?!”

The little boy was 8 yrs old when his parents decided to have him circumcised (looking different than dad, other kids, etc.).After a few days of recovery, the boy went back to school.After about an hour, the pain was really starting to bother him so he asked if he could see the school nurse.He went to see her but was too embarrassed to tell her what the problem was.She suggested that he call his Mom and see if she could come and get him.The nurse waited in the other room while the call was made.After a few minutes the little boy came out and started walking back to class, but the nurse noticed that his penis was hanging out of his pants.She said “Johnny, what are you doing? You can’t walk around like that.”He replied, “Well I told my Mom how much I hurt and she said that if I could just stick it out till lunch time she would come pick me up then.”

A Kid was walking to the bathroom, when he saw through the slightly open door, his mother was in there. She was buck naked and looking into the mirror while rubbing her breasts and moaning “I want a man. I NEED a man!”.
The next day, the same thing happens: the kid is about to enter the bathroom and sees his mother rubbing her naked body in front of the mirror “I want a man. I NEED a man”

But the next day, when the kid is on the way to the bathroom, his passes his mother’s bedroom, where some guy is humping her while she screams “I got a man, OH GOD, I got a man!!”.

The kid immediately runs to the bathroom, stripping off his clothes on the way, then stands in front of the mirror rubbing his body saying “I want a bicycle. I NEED a bicycle!”….

A little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from a small
cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider.

“Why do you want cider?” asked Mom.

“To take the pain away, ” sobbed the little girl.

Tired of all the tears, Mom poured her a glass.

The little girl immediately put her hand into the drink.

“It doesn’t work!” she yelled.

“What do you mean?” asked Mom.

“Well, ” sniffed the little girl, “I overheard my sister say that whenever she
gets a prick in her hand, she can’t wait to get it in cider.”

A little boy was visiting his grandparents on their farm and became attached to one of the kittens. This kitten, having no road sense, was killed by a passing car right in front of the little boy. The grandfather buried the kitten behind the barn, and the grandmother distracted the boy by giving him cookies and milk. While the little boy was eating, the following conversation took place.

“Grandma, what happened to the kitten?” “It was killed by a car. The kitten is dead.”

“Where does a kitten go when it dies?” “God takes the kitten to heaven.”

The little boy took another bite of cookie and then said, “But, Grandma, what does God want with a dead kitten?”

Q: When is a baseball player like a thief?
A: When he steals a base.

Little Simon came running into the house and asked,
‘Mummy, can little girls have babies?’

‘No,’ said his mum, ‘of course not.’

Simon ran back outside and his mum heard him yell to his friends, ‘It’s okay, we can play that game again!’

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.

She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake.

The barber says to her, “Sweetheart, you’re gonna get hair on your Twinkie.”

She says, “Yes, I know, and I’m gonna get boobs too.”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo