Q. what goes ha ha ha ha plop?
A. someone lauging there head of!
Category: little johnny
Little Johnny on Etiquette
During a good manners and etiquette class, the teacher says
to her students “If you were courting a well educated young
girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to
go to the toilet, what would you say to her? ”
Mike replies : Wait a minute, I need to take a leak.
The teacher says : That would be very rude and improper on
your part.
Charlie replied : I’m sorry I need to go to the toilet, I’ll
be back in a minute.
The teacher says : That’s much better but to mention the word
“toilet” during a meal, is unpleasant.
And Johnnie says: “My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I
have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope,
to be able to introduce to you after dinner. ”
The teacher passed out.
Santa Claus
A few days after Christmas, my six-year-old son and I were talking. He asked, “Mom, is there a Santa Claus?”
“Well, what do you think?” I asked him.
He replied, “Well, my Playstation that I got and my gift from Santa were wrapped in the same kind of wrapping paper…”
He thought for a minute, then said, “I’ll tell you what … you and Dad can go on buying me presents and let’s just forget we ever had this talk!”
Silly
Whats brown and sticky?
A stick!
Nursery School
Nursery school teacher says to her class, “Who can use the word ‘Definitely’ in a sentence?”
First a little girl says “The sky is definitely blue”
Teacher says, “Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange…”
Second little boy…”Trees are definitely green”
“Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown.”
Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks: “Does a fart have lumps?”
The teacher looks horrified and says…”Johnny! Of course not!!!”
“OK…then I DEFINITELY shit my pants…”
Happy
what did santa clause give to people in thai land? a wave
Lovely
One day in school the teacher is giving the class an English lesson. She asks if anyone can give her a sentence with the word ‘Lovely’ in it twice. All of a sudden little Mary jumps up and says that she has a sentence. The teacher is pleased to see her top pupil being so conscientious and asks her to tell the class. The little girl goes on and says :- “At the week-end the weather was lovely, so my family and I went out to the countryside and had a lovely picnic.”
The teacher was most impressed, and asked if anyone else could make a similar sentence. Then from the back of the class, little Jonny the class rascal, shouted out that he had a sentence. The teacher, in a sympathetic tone of voice, said “Oh.. all right then Jonny what is _your_ sentence?”
Jonny went on to say:- “Last night my sister came home and said she was pregnant and our dad said, ‘Lovely!!!, Fuckin’ Lovely!’
Fish
Q: Why are fish in the sea smarter than animals on land.
A: Because they travel in schools.
The eyes
One Sunday, little Benny�s grandpa asks him a question, �Do you know what one
eye said to the other eye?�
�No, Zeida.�
�It said, �Between you and me, something smells.��
Pierced ears for pirates
How much do pirates pay to get their ears pierced?
A Buccaneer!
Lick that
Tommy, Johnny and Harry were standing around bullshitting about how tough their fathers were.”My dad went 12 rounds with Mike Tyson. Lick that!” said young Harry.”Well, my dad did two tours of Vietnam and killed 19 men… so lick that!” Tommy said.”That’s nothing!” declared little Johnny. “My dad hasn’t wiped his ass in 10 years… so lick that!”
Body parts
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. On this particular day, the teacher wanted to ask her class which part of the body went to heaven first.
One little girl raised her hand and said, “I think your mind goes to heaven first because you have to have a mind in order to believe in God. The teacher praises the little girl, as a little boy raised his hand.
The little boy says, “I think your heart goes to heaven first because God is all about love. “Very good” said the teacher.
The teacher looked up and saw Little Johnny’s hand up. “Oh no”, she thought, “I’m not gonna like this. Little Johnny, which part of the body do you think goes to heaven first?”
Little Johnny thinks for a minute and says, “Your feet.” The teacher asked him why he thought your feet go to heaven first.
He replied, “Well, I was walking past my parents’ bedroom last night and my mom had her feet up in the air and she said, ‘Oh God, I’m coming!'”