Category: little johnny

A woman was at the beach with her children when her four-year-old son ran up, grabbed her hand and led her to the shore where a sea gull lay dead in the sand. “Mommy, what happened to him?” the boy asked. “He died and went to heaven,” she replied. The boy thought for a moment and then said, “And God threw him back down?”

Q:Why did Mickey go to outer space?
A: To see Pluto!

Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday
school.
Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a
rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea,
he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge, and all the people walked across
safely. He used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters and call in an air
strike. They sent in bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were
saved.

“Now, Joey, is that REALLY what your teacher taught you?” his mother asked.

Well, no, Mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you’d never believe
it!

what does a cat put on itself when it has a
opened cut??

purr.. oxside

once upon a time there was a kid named buttiches. it was the first day of school and everybody had to go around and say therename and favorite color. everybody had already went and told their favorite color and name. it was buttiches turn. the teacher said you in the red shirt. tell everybody your name and favorite color.(he wasnt paying attention)he said his name is buttiches and his favorite color is brown. thn the teacher asked him again and he said the same thing. this time she said tell the truth or youll go to the principals office. then he got sent to the principals office.
the principal asked him and he got suspended. then he was on his way home when he got hit by a truck in front of his house. then his mom ran out oh my poor buttiches. then the truck driver said then why dont you scrach it?

Little Johnny’s dad picked him up from school to take him to a dental appointment. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part.

Johnny enthusiastically announced that he’d gotten a part.

“I play a man who’s been married for twenty years!”, he said cheerfully.

“That’s great, son. Keep up the good work! Before you know it, they’ll give you a speaking part!”

Are caterpillars good to eat?” asked little Tommy at the dinner table.

“No,” said his father, “what makes you ask a question like that while we are eating?”

“You had one on your lettuce salad, but it’s gone now,” replied Tommy.

A mother was working in the kitchen and listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room.

She heard the train stop and her son say, “All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now ‘ cause this is the last stop. And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on get your asses in the train ’cause we’re leaving.”

The mother went into the living room and told her son, “We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room for two hours. When you come out you may play with your train. But I want you to use nice language.”

Two hours later the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and mother heard her son say, “All passengers who are disembarking the train please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon.”

“For those of you just boarding we ask you to store all your luggage under your seat. Remember there is no smoking except in the club car. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us.”

“And for those of you who are pissed off about the two hour delay please see the bitch in the kitchen.”

There were once four kids, Poop, Shut Up, Manners, and Trouble.

Poop was riding his bike and fell. Manners went to help him up. Trouble got lost. Shut Up goes to the Police Station.

Officer: What’s your name? Shut Up: Shut Up.

Officer: What’s your name? Shut Up: Shut Up.

Officer: For the last time, WHAT’S YOUR NAME?! Shut Up: Shut Up!

Officer: Are you looking for Trouble? Shut Up: Ya, we lost him about 2 miles back.

Officer: Where’s your Manners? Shut Up: Back there pickin’ up Poop.

This is a poem to test your idiotic skills, would you fall or stay if you were on a hill?, would you jump off a bridge if i told you to? of course you would cause your brains full of poo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One day a sweet little girl becomes puzzled about her origin. “How did I get here, Mommy?” she asks.Her mother replies, using a well-worn phrase, “Why God sent you, Honey.””And did God send you too, Mommy?” she continues.”Yes, Sweetheart, he did.””And Daddy, and Grandma and Grandpa, and their moms and dads, too?” “Yes, Honey, all of them, too.”The child shakes her head in disbelief. “Then you’re telling me there’s been no sex in this family for over 200 years? No wonder everyone is so grouchy!”

Two Nuts Where Walking Down The Street. One Was A Salted!