Category: little johnny

Little Joey was sitting in the back of class rubbing his
crotch, and the teacher asked, �Joey what are you doing?�
Joey replied, �Teacher, my mommy had me circumsized
yesterday and it still hurts.� So the teacher sent Joey to
the principal’s office to call his mother and ask what he
should do.
When Joey came back from the office, the teacher noticed
that he had his penis hanging out. Shocked, the teacher
asked, �Joey, what are you doing!?� Joey answered, �Mommy
told me to stick it out till lunch and then she would be
here to pick me up.�

A few months after his parents were divorced, Little Johnny passed by his
mom’s bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, “I need a man, I need a
man!”
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.

One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into
her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.

Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his
bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, “Ohh, I need a bike! I need a
bike!”

Tips on Love (From Those Who Should Know)

(all questions were answered by kids, age 5-10)

WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED??

“Eighty-four, Because at that age, you don’t have to work anymore, and you can
spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom.” (Judy, 8)

“Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife” (Tom, 5)

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE??

“On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them
interested enough to go for a second date.” (Mike, 10)

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE??

“You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big
ring and her own VCR, ’cause she’ll want to have videos of the wedding.” (Jim,
10)

“Never kiss in front of other people. It’s a big embarrassing thing if anybody
sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome
boy, but just for a few hours.” (Kally, 9)

THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED??

“It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to
clean up after them.” (Lynette, 9)

“It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid. I don’t
need that kind of trouble.” (Kenny, 7)

CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE

“No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how
you smell. That’s why perfume and deodorant are so popular.” (Jan, 9)

“I think you’re supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest
of it isn’t supposed to be so painful.” (Harlen, 8)

ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE

“Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.” (Roger, 9)

“If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don’t want to do
it. It takes too long.” (Leo, 7)

ON THE ROLE OF GOOD LOOKS IN LOVE

“If you want to be loved by somebody who isn’t already in your family, it
doesn’t hurt to be beautiful.” (Jeanne, 8)

“It isn’t always just how you look. Look at me. I’m handsome like anything and
I haven’t got anybody to marry me yet.” (Gary, 7)

“Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time.”(Christine,
9)

WHY LOVERS OFTEN HOLD HANDS

“They want to make sure their rings don’t fall off because they paid good
money for them.” (Dave, 8)

Teacher asks her class, �Does anybody know what starts with T, ends with T and
is full of T?�
Little Benjy puts up his hand and says, �A teapot, miss.�

A small boy is sent to bed by his father.

Five minutes later, “Da-ad…”

“What?”

“I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?”

“No. You had your chance. Lights out.”

Five minutes later: “Da-aaaad…”

“WHAT?”

“I’m THIRSTY…Can I have a drink of water??”

“I told you NO! If you ask again I’ll have to spank you!!”

Five minutes later… “Daaaa-aaaad…”

“WHAT??!!”

“When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?”

Addie: “Why are you wearing your winter coat?”

Erik: “Because I am waxing the car.”

Addie: “Why do you need a winter coat to wax the car?”

Erik: ” The wax container said a heavy coat makes the shine last longer!”

What do you call a cow with no legs?
GROUND BEEF!

Top Ten Signs You’re Becoming a Teenager

10) Like is, like, the most commonly used word in your vocabulary.

9) “Metal Mouth” and “Tinsel Teeth” have replaced your real name.

8) You fight with your hair every morning . . . and you lose!

7) Your parents have never heard of your favorite rock group.

6) Even your zits have zits!

5) It’s not safe to say the word “mall” around you.

4) Let’s just say . . . sometimes you don’t smell too good.

3) You’ve gone from “A”. . . to “B” . . . to “C” . . . cup!

2) If you have to speak in front of your class, you care more about what you’re wearing than what you’re going to say.

1) If someone at your house is PMSing, it’s not always your mom!

Once little Johnny went into a shop he took a toy plane and gave the shopkeeper fake money.

So, the shopkeeper told him, “Hey you, this ain’t real money.”

Little Johnny (continues walking out of the shop) didn’t reply.

The shopkeeper said the same thing and the same thing happened.

The third time the shopkeeper called him, Little Johnny said “What?”

The shopkeeper said, “This aint real money.”

Little Johnny finally said, “And this aint a real plane.”

Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis and BreeBrown

Teacher : “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”

Pupil : “A teacher”.

Submitted by sai1ram
Edited by Curtis

one time i visited a web site that was gay and only homos were there and who ever this site turns gay exept 4 me it was called skullspace.com

Amnesia: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to become romantic again.

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Family Planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t fully appreciate the strained carrots.

Full Name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Independent: What we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Show Off: A child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

Top Bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.