Category: little johnny

Why should Snow White be a wonderful judge?

She is the fairest in the land!

Q:what did the policeman say to his stomach:

A:your under a vest

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, “Please send
me a sister.”
Santa Clause wrote him back, “Ok, send me your mother.”

At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults
are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it
very easy to blackmail them by saying, �I know the whole
truth� — even when you don’t know anything.
The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted
by his mother at the front door he says, �I know the whole
truth.� His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, �Just
don’t tell your father.�

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home
from work, and greets him with, �I know the whole truth.�
The father promptly hands him $40 and says, �Please don’t
say a word to your mother.�

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day,
when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets
him by saying, �I know the whole truth.� The mailman drops
the mail, opens his arms and says, �Then come give your
FATHER a big hug.�

A little girl was overheard speaking to her older pre-teen sister. She asked her very seriously, “Would you wear shoes if you didn’t have feet?”The sister turned to the little girl and said, “What!?!” The little girl repeated, “Would you wear shoes if you didn’t have feet?” The sister said impatiently, “Of course not, what would be the point of wearing shoes if you had no feet?” The little girl said, “Then what is the point of wearing that bra?”

…something with 100 eyes,300 legs and every coler of the rainbow?

i dont know

• It’s more fun to color outside the lines.
• If you’re gonna draw on the wall, do it behind the couch.
• Ask why until you understand.
• Hang on tight.
• Even if you’ve been fishing for 3 hours and haven’t gotten anything except poison ivy and a sunburn, you’re still better off than the worm.
• Make up the rules as you go along.
• It doesn’t matter who started it.
• Ask for sprinkles.
• If the horse you’re drawing looks more like a dog, make it a dog.
• Save a place in line for your friends.
• Sometimes you have to take the test before you’ve finished studying.
• If you want a kitten, start out asking for a horse.
• Picking your nose when no one else is looking is still picking your nose.
• Just keep banging until someone opens the door.
• Making your bed is a waste of time.
• There is no good reason why clothes have to match.
• Even Popeye didn’t eat his spinach until he absolutely had to.
• You work so hard peddling up the hill that you hate to brake on the way down
• You can’t ask to start over just because you’re losing the game

Teacher: You aren’t paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing ?
Pupil: No, teacher I’m having trouble listening !

When Johnny got arrested, they told him, “Anything you say will be held against you.”

Johnny said, “Claudia Schiffer’s breasts.”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci

It was my daughter Leahs orientation day at kindergarten.The teacher showed the different stations and asked the kids to pick one to play at,at that point Leah picked the kitchen and four young chaps followed.The boys each found a chair and sat at the table and Leah proceeded to cook them an elaborate plastic dinner all enjoyed and rubbed their tummies mmmmmmm said one boy wheres the dessert Leah rolled her eyes (she had about enough of this kitchen stuff i guess) but went ahead and made them somthin for dessert.The boys wiped there mouths and at that point got up from the table thanked her and said they had to go to work.Well little leah blocked the exit way stood taller than Id ever seen her,pointed sternly at the sink and said not so fast…DISHES!!!!!!!!

Sidney was a 14-year-old boy with an interest in the sciences.

One summer day he started his own investigations. With his 12-year-old sister Sophie in tow, he caught a large bull frog in a local pond.

Sidney started his experiment with the amphibian, and told Sophie her job was to write down the results of the experiment.

Sidney drew a line in the sand, placed the frog on the line, and prodded the frog with a small twig from the rear and shouted, “Jump, frog!”

The frog jumped, and Sidney measured the distance. “12 feet…write that down, Sophie,” he said.

Next, he brought the frog back to the starting point and removed the frog’s right front leg.

Again he prodded the frog and shouted, “Jump, frog!” The frog jumped 10 feet, and on instruction, Sophie wrote it down.

Again the frog was brought back, the left front leg was removed, and again “Jump, frog!” Sidney reported, “Six feet…write it down.”

The next time, Sidney removed the large right back leg. “Jump, frog!” Then, he shouted “Jump, frog!” and prodded the frog. “The frog jumped 8 inches…writes it down, Sophie.”

Finally, Sidney removed the frog’s remaining back left leg, put it down and prodded the frog with the twig shouting, “Jump, frog! Jump, frog! JUMP FROG!! JUMP JUMP FROG!!!”

The frog didn’t jump. Sophie looked at Sidney, and said, “So what should I write down?”

Sidney thought a moment, and then told Sophie to write, “When you remove all the legs from a frog, it turns deaf.”

Yo mama is so nasty I called her on the phone and she gave
me an ear infection.