Baby Luv

CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE

“One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too.”
Andrew, age 6

“No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell … That’s why perfume and deodorant are so popular.”
Mae, age 9

“I think you’re supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn’t supposed to be so painful.”
Manuel, age 8

ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE

“Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.”
John, age 9

“If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don’t want to do it. It takes too long.”
Glenn, age 7

ON THE ROLE OF BEAUTY AND HANDSOMENESS IN LOVE

“If you want to be loved by somebody who isn’t already in your family, it doesn’t hurt to be beautiful.”
Anita C., age 8

“It isn’t always just how you look. Look at me. I’m handsome like anything and I haven’t got anybody to marry me yet.”
Brian, age 7

“Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time.”
Christine, age 9

REFLECTIONS ON THE NATURE OF LOVE

“Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too.”
Greg, age 8

HOW DO PEOPLE IN LOVE TYPICALLY BEHAVE?

“Mooshy … like puppy dogs … except puppy dogs don’t wag their tails nearly as much.”
Arnold, age 10

“All of a sudden, the people get movie fever so they can sit together in the dark.”
Sherm, age 8

CONCERNING WHY LOVERS OFTEN HOLD HANDS

“They want to make sure their rings don’t fall off because they paid good money for them.”
Gavin, age 8

“They are just practicing for when they might have to walk down the aisle someday and do the holy matchimony thing.”
John, age 9

CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE

“I’m in favor of love as long as it doesn’t happen when ‘Dinosaurs’ is on television.”
Jill, age 6

“Love is foolish … but I still might try it sometime.”
Floyd, age 9

“Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me.”
Dave, age 8

“I’m not rushing into being in love. I’m finding fourth grade hard enough.”
Regina, age 10

THE PERSONAL QUALITIES YOU NEED TO HAVE IN ORDER TO BE A GOOD LOVER

“Sensitivity don’t hurt.”
Robbie, age 8

“One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills.”
Ava, age 8

SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU

“Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores.”
Del, age 6

“Yell out that you love them at the top of your lungs … and don’t worry if their parents are right there.”
Manuel, age 8

“Don’t do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain’t the same thing as love.”
Alonzo, age 9

“One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it’s something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me.”
Bart, age 9

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE?

“Just see if the man picks up the check. That’s how you can tell if he’s in love.”
Bobby, age 9

“Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold … Other people care more about the food.”
Bart, age 9

“Romantic adults usually are all dressed up, so if they are just wearing jeans it might mean they used to go out or they just broke up.”
Sarah, age 9

“See if the man has lipstick on his face.”
Sandra, age 7

“It’s love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it’s just like how their hearts are… on fire.”
Christine, age 9

TITLES OF THE LOVE BALLADS YOU CAN SING TO YOUR BELOVED

“‘How Do I Love Thee When You’re Always Picking Your Nose?'”
Arnold, age 10

“‘You Are My Darling Even Though You Also Know My Sister.'”
Larry, age 8

“‘I Love Hamburgers, I Like You!'”
Eddie, age 6

“‘I Am in Love with You Most of the Time, but Don’t Bother Me When I’m with My Friends.'”
Bob, age 9

“‘Hey, Baby, I Don’t like Girls but I’m Willing to Forget You Are One!'”
Will, age 7

WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY “I LOVE YOU”

“The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day.”
Michelle, age 9

“Some lovers might be real nervous, so they are glad that they finally got it out and said it and now they can go eat.”
Dick, age 7

HOW WAS KISSING INVENTED?

“I know one reason that kissing was created. It makes you feel warm all over, and they didn’t always have electric heat or fireplaces or even stoves in their houses.”
Gina, age 8

HOW A PERSON LEARNS TO KISS

“You can have a big rehearsal with your Barbie and Ken dolls.”
Julia, age 7

“You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you.”
Brian, age 7

“It might help to watch soap operas all day.”
Carin, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

“When they’re rich.”
Pam, age 7

“It’s never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you … That’s why I stopped doing it.”
Tammy, age 10

“If it’s your mother, you can kiss her anytime. But if it’s a new person, you have to ask permission.”
Roger, age 6

HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE

“Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work.”
Dick, age 7

“Don’t forget your wife’s name … That will mess up the love.”
Erin, age 8

“Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash.”
Dave, age 8

“Don’t say you love somebody and then change your mind … Love isn’t like picking what movie you want to watch.”
Natalie, age 8

Cyanide Watermelons

There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure.
He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next day, the kids show up and they saw the sign which read: “Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide.”

The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer’s sign. When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons are missing, but the sign next to his read: “Now there are two!”

An APB On God

A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten, who were excessively
mischievous.
The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be assured
that if any mischief occurred in their town their two young sons were in some
way involved. The parents were at their wits end as to what to do about their
sons’ behavior.

The mother had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in
disciplining children in the past, so she asked her husband if he thought they
should send the boys to speak with the clergyman.

The husband said, “We might as well. We need to do something before I really
lose my temper!”

The clergyman agreed to speak with the boys, but asked to see them
individually. The eight-year-old went to meet with him first. The clergyman sat
the boy down and asked him sternly, “Where is God?”

The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even
sterner tone, “Where is God?”

Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice
even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face, “WHERE IS GOD?”

At that, the boy bolted from the room and ran directly home slamming himself
in his closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, “What
happened?”

The younger brother replied, “We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing
and they think we did it!”

Fascinating

The teacher asked her students to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Mary said, “My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating.”

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted the word “fascinate.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to the Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “good, but I wanted the word “fascinate.”

Litte Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because Johnny was noted for his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only “fasten 8.”

Confused Child in Wedding Party

A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he
would take two steps, stop and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride’s
side and groom’s side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like
claws and roar. So it went, step, step, �ROAR,� step, step, �ROAR,� all the way
down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so
hard by the time he reached the pulpit.
The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the
laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit.

When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, “I was being the
Ring Bear.”