Category: little johnny

One time, when I was a kid, I forgot to do my homework, so I stole someone
else�s and turned it in. After class, the teacher pulled me over. Then she asked
why I didn�t turn in the homework. I guess I forgot to change the name on it.

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!

A priest was walking down the street when he saw a little boy jumping up and
down to try to reach a doorbell. So the priest walked over and pressed the
button for the youngster. “And now what, my little man?” he asked.

“Now,” said the boy, “run like hell!”

Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly.
2nd Child: Why are you crying?

1st Child: I came here for a blood test.

2nd Child: So? Are you afraid?

1st Child: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.

At this, the second one started crying profusely.

The first one was astonished.

1st Child: Why are you crying now?

2nd Child: I came for a urine test !

Why did the elephant wear multi-color tennis shoes? So he could hide in the jelly bean jar.

Once there was a boy who picked his nose everyday that one day while he was still pickin his nose his finger went through his eye.

Two little boys are looking down at a cathouse. They sit there watching men go
in and see all the money beeing counted. They watch the men pour out with
smiling faces.

First boy-I wonders what makes those men smile.

Second boy-Well, lets count our money and go see what makes them smile.

First boy-We have fifty-cents all together.

Second boy-I’ll go and find out what they are smiling about while you stay
here.

The second boy goes into the cathouse and says to the head mistress,� I want
fifty cents worth of whatever is making all these men smile.” The woman takes
him into one of the rooms and she takes her clothes off. She starts coming
toward him and he runs out of the cathouse screaming.

First boy-What was it?

Second boy-I doesn�t know, but I sure as hell don’t want dollars worth of it.

Why did the zombie baby cross the road?
To wreak an unholy vengeance upon the driver of the car who’s standing there,
scratching his head, trying to figure out how a zombie baby’s head can be
beneath his car tires but the rest of the body is nowhere to be seen– unless he
were to turn around and notice the zombie baby body bearing down on him, coming
ever closer, ready with grasping, pudgy zombie baby fingers to tear and rend at
the flesh of this self-same driver who ran his head over, on the dark and
rain-swept road that snakes down from the castle of the madman who’s creating an
army of zombie babies to do his dark, libidinal bidding.

A boy came home from school one day. His father asked him how his day was and the boy said, “Well Dad, I looked stupid because I did not know the difference between potential and reality.”

His dad says, “Well son, go ask your mother if she would sleep with our next door neighbor for a million dollars.”

He came back with a shocked look on his face and said, “Dad, she said, ‘Yes!”.

“OK son, now go and ask your sister the same question.”

A few minutes later he came back, shocked again. “Dad, she said, ‘Yes!’ also!”

His dad told him, “There you go.”

His son looked at him, puzzled. “Dad I still don’t understand.”

“Look son, POTENTIALLY we are multi-millionaires, but in REALITY we are dead broke and living with a couple of whores.”

What did the ballerina do when she hurt her foot?
She called the toe truck!

As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, she said, “Mom, look at this,” and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her fingers in my mouth and said, “Mommy is gonna eat your fingers!” pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again.

When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face and tears down her face.

I said, “What’s wrong honey?”

Sad and broken up she looked at me and said –
“Mommy, where’s my booger?

Q: What do you get when you stab an 8 year old girl 15 times?
A: Ahard on.

Q: What’s the worst thing about sleeping with 12 year olds?
A: The long ride back from the desert.

Q: What’s the best thing about having sex with an 8 year old girl?
A: If you turn them over they look like 8 year old boys.