Category: little johnny

Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School. “Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge, and all the people walked across safely. He used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters and call in an air strike. They sent in bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.” “Now, Joey, is that REALLY what your teacher taught you?” his mother asked.”Well, no, Mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you’d never believe it!”

A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, “Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.”

The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. “That’s interesting,” she said, “How do you make babies?”

“It’s simple,” replied the girl. “You just change ‘y’ to ‘i’ and add ‘es’.”

One day a very young polar bear was sitting on an ice drift, watching his father trying to catch fish, when he asked, “Dad, am I a full-blooded polar bear?”
His father replied, “Sure son, you’re full blooded.”

The young bear asked, “Are you positive that I’m 100% polar bear, Dad?”

“Yes, son, I’m sure. Your mother’s a polar bear, I’m a polar bear…”

“But Dad, are you sure there’s not a little brown bear in me?”

“Yes son, I’m sure.”

“Are you really sure, Dad, that there’s not just a little black bear in me?”

“Yes, son, you’re all polar bear.”

“Maybe just a little grizzly bear in me, Dad?”

“No way, son, no way,” replied the papa bear. “Why are you asking these questions?”

The little polar bear replied, “Because, Dad, I’m freezing my tail off out here!”

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along.

“I’ll never do that again!” he told his mother that evening. “I didn’t catch a thing!”

“Oh, next time I’m sure she’ll be quiet and not scare the fish away,” his mother said.

The boy said, “It wasn’t that. She ate all the bait!”

For the second time in a row, I was forced to impose on the woman with whom I carpooled to our children’s soccer practices. I phoned and explained that my husband had the car again, so I wouldn’t be able to take my turn. A few minutes before she was due to pick up my son, my husband showed up. Since it was too late for me to call and say I could drive after all, I asked my husband to hide the car in the garage and to stay inside.

I also explained to my son that he shouldn’t mention anything about his father’s whereabouts. Unfortunately, my husband forgot and was in front of our house chatting with a friend when my carpool partner arrived. When my son returned from practice, I asked him if she had noticed.

“Yes,” he replied, “she asked me which of the two men in front of the house was my father. But don’t worry. I told her I didn’t know.”

knock knock
whos there???
little boy
little boy who???
little boy who cant reach the door bell

Little Johnny was walking down the road one day and an old man was sitting on his front porch rocking back and forth in his rocking chair.

The old man said, ‘Whatcha got there, son?’

Johnny said, ‘Got me some chicken wire.’

‘Whatcha gonna do with that chicken wire, son?’ asked the old man.

‘Gonna catch me some chickens,’ said Johnny.

‘You can’t catch chickens with chicken wire,’ said the oldster.

Johnny just shrugged his shoulders and walked on down the street. About half an hour later, Johnny came back passing the old man’s front porch with three chickens entangled in the chicken wire.

The old man was shocked and couldn’t believe his eyes.

A little later Johnny passed the old man’s porch.

‘Whatcha got now, son?’

‘Got me some duct tape.’

‘And whatcha gonna do with that duct tape?’ the old man asked.

‘Gonna catch me some ducks.’

‘You can’t catch ducks with duct tape,’ said the old man.

Johnny just shrugged his shoulders and kept on walking.

About half an hour later, back comes Johnny with three ducks tangled in the duct tape.

Again, the old man rubbed his eyes in disbelief.

Half an hour later, Johnny was again passing the old man’s porch.

‘Whatcha got now, son?’ asked the old codger.

‘Got me some pussy willow.’

The old man said, ‘Wait right there while I get my shoes!’

When is a door not a door?

When it is ajar.

Boy: Will you punish me for something I
didn’t do?

Teacher: Of course not!

Boy: Good cause I didn’t do my homework!

Jimmy: did you hear about man on a motor bike who ran into a cowsay?

Bob: what is a cowsay?

Jimmy: Moooooooooo

A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The young man picks up on this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around.

Teen says, “Grandpa, they didn’t have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases when you were young did they?”

Grandpa replies, “Nope.” Teen says, “Well, what did you guys use for safe sex?” Grandpa replies, “A wedding ring.”