Category: little johnny

A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall.

He approached a uniformed policeman and said, “I’ve lost my grandpa!”

The cop asked, “What’s he like?”

The little boy replied, “Jack Daniels and women with big tits”.

Submitted by Curtis

A sister and brother are talking to each other when the little boy gets up and walks over to his Grandpa and says, “Grandpa, please make a frog noise.”

The Grandpa says, “No.”

The little boy goes on, “Please…please make a frog noise.”

The Grandpa says, “No, now go play.”

The little boy then says to his sister, “Go tell Grandpa to make a frog noise.”

So the little girl goes to her Grandpa and says, “Please make a frog noise.”

The Grandpa says, “I just told your brother ‘no’ and I’m telling you ‘no’.”

The little girl says, “Please…please Grandpa make a frog noise.”

The Grandpa says, “Why do you want me to make a frog noise?”

The little girl replied, “Because mommy said when you croak we can go to Disney World!”

Submitted by Tantilazing
Edited by Curtis

What do you call a bommerrang that dose not
come back?
A stick!!!!

TEACHER: Did you do your homework?

PUPIL: No, teacher.

TEACHER: Do you have an excuse?

PUPIL: Yes, it’s all my mother’s fault.

TEACHER: She kept you from doing it?

PUPIL: No, she didn’t nag me enough!

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis, Tantilzaling and yisman

Two duck were walking and one duck dropped his food and he bent down to get it and the other duck said i could see your quack!!!

Knock Knock Who’s there? I wannup I wannup who? You do! I didn’t need to know that!

Nursery school teacher says to her class, “Who can use the word ‘Definitely’ in a sentence?”

First a little girl says, “The sky is definitely blue.”

The teacher says, “Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be grey, or orange…”

Second little boy says…”Trees are definitely green”

The teacher replies, “Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown.”

Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks:

“Does a fart have lumps?”

The teacher looks horrified and says…”

Johnny! Of course not!!!”

“OK…then I DEFINITELY shit my pants…”

A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.

He inquisitively ask the lady, “Why is your stomach so big?”
She replied, “Im having a baby.”

With big eyes, he asked, “Is the baby in your stomach?”
She said, “He sure is.”

Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, “Is it a good baby?”
She said, “Oh, yes. It’s a real good baby.”

With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked…
“Then why did you eat him?”

what hangs of a pear tree?

sore arms

“Class dismissed!” the teacher yelled.

Little Johnny doesn’t go, he walks to the teachers desk and says, “Teacher can I go home with you?”

The teacher says “No!”

Little Johnny says, “I’ll tell my daddy.”

So the teacher says, “Okay.”

They get to the teachers house and she says, “Well I’m going to take a quick shower, you sit right here.”

“Can I take a shower with you?” he asks.

“NO!” says the teacher.

“I’ll tell my daddy!!”

“Well, okay, I guess so.”

So, they’re in the shower and little Johnny says, “Can I turn off the lights?”

“No!” says the teacher.

“I’ll tell my daddy.”

“Well, okay.”

So the lights are off and little Johnny says, “Can I stick my finger in your belly button?”

“NO!” says the teacher.

“I’ll tell my daddy.”

“Well, okay”says the teacher.

“JOHNNY!!!! That’s not my belly-button!”

“Yeah? That’s not my finger either.”

Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis

why is the sand wet?
because the seaweed!!

One day there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it and the other boy couldn’t figure out why his friend was at the bush so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the steam. All of a sudden the second boy took off running.
The first boy couldn’t understand why he ran away so he took off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away.

The boy said to his friend, “My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran.”