Category: little johnny

will you remeber me tomorrow?
will you remeber me next week?
will you remeber me next month?
will you remeber me next year?
knock knock (whos there) see you forgot me already.

Little Moshe�s dad asks him one day, �Do you know what the hat said to the
scarf?�
�No, daddy, I don�t,� replies Moshe.
�You hang around while I go on ahead,� says his dad.

My friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales at night.

Having a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often adlibs parts of the stories for fun.

One day his youngest son was sitting in his new entrants class as the teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs. She came to the part where the first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home.

She said, ‘And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and said, “Pardon me, sir, but might I have some of that straw to build my house with?”

Then the teacher asked the class, ‘And what do you think that man said?’

And my friend’s son raised his hand and said ‘I know! I know. He said, “Holy shit! A talking pig!”‘

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

why did tigger jump in the toilet?
answer:he was looking for pooh

A little boy was watching a handyman at work on the upper story of a house.
Suddenly the man drops a hammer, and comes down the ladder to retrieve it.

The little boy calls out, “My daddy would have two hammers so he wouldn’t have
to come the ladder when he dropped one.”

The handyman says, “Yeah, that’s great, kid”, and climbs back up the ladder
and returns to work. Within a few minutes, he drops his screwdriver, and comes
back down the ladder.

The little boy calls out again, “My daddy would have two screwdrivers so he
wouldn’t have to come the ladder when he dropped one.”

The handyman mutters something and returns up the ladder. A few minutes later,
the man realizes he has to go to the bathroom. Unfortunately, he has no way into
the house, so he climbs down the ladder and goes behind a bush.

When he’s finishing up, he notices that the little boy has followed him. “I
suppose your daddy has two of these too?” he asked.

“Nope,” says the little boy, “but my daddy’s is twice as big!”

yo mama is so poor iwent to her house and asked whats for dinner and she took out a shotgun and said next fucker that moves

“Never trust a dog to watch your food.” Patrick, age 10

“When your dad is mad and asks you, ‘Do I look stupid?’ don’t answer.” Hannah, 9

“Never tell your mom her diet’s not working.” Michael, 14

“Stay away from prunes.” Randy, 9

“Never pee on an electric fence.” Robert, 13

“Don’t squat with your spurs on.” Noronha, 13

“Don’t pull dad’s finger when he tells you to.” Emily, 10

“When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.” Taylia,11

“Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment.” Traci, 14

“Don’t sneeze in front of mum when you’re eating crackers.” Mitchell,12

“Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic-Tac.” Andrew, 9

“Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.” Kyoyo, 9

“You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.” Armir, 9

“Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.” Kellie, 11

“If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.” Naomi, 15

“Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.” Lauren, 9

“Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat.” Joel,10

“When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she’s on the phone.” Alyesha, 13

“Never try to baptize a cat.” Eileen, 8

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started
her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid, stand up!”

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, “Do you think
you’re stupid, Little Johnny?”

“No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”

What do you call Napoleon after a bomb has hit him?
Napoleon Blown Apart

Teacher : What is a zoo?

Johney : A place allotted for animals to study the behavior of humans�

A young mother was having a consultation with a doctor.

As they spoke, her Little Johnny could clearly be heard terrorizing the people in the waiting room – yet she made no attempt to restrain him.

Soon they heard some clattering in an adjoining room, but still she did nothing.

Finally, after an extra-loud crash, the woman casually told the doctor, “I hope you don’t mind my Little Johnny playing in there.”

“No, not at all,” said the doctor calmly. “Not at all. I’m sure he’ll calm down as soon as he finds the poison.”

-How do you get down from an elephant?
You don’t. You get down from a duck.