Category: light bulbs

Q: How many Mensans does it take to screw in a litebulb?A: None. They know that litebulb is misspelled and therefore cannot exist to be screwed in. Now of course, if it were a Miller Lite bulb…

Q: How many Dylan fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind. The answer is blowin’ in the wind.

Q: How many fat-cat factory owners does it take to change a light bulb?A: None. The replacement bulbs have refused to cross the union picket lines.

Q: How many cabbage patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?A: The question is irrelevant since you couldn’t find the dolls even if you knew how many.Note: Topical to 1983 and the difficulty of obtaining cabbage patch dolls

Q: How many Soviet emigres does it take to change a light bulb?A: Three. One to force the bulb in with a hammer, one to steal more bulbs, one to ask NYANA for a bigger hammer.

Q: How many maths students does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: 20. One to change it and the rest to watch and discuss how exciting it is.

Q: How many alt.fan.douglas-adams readers does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: 42.

Q: How many software vendors does it take to change a lightbulb?A: None: You have to do it yourself, pay them $99 for the privilege, and re-wire your sockets to suit the new bulb.

Q: How many quantum mechanicians does it take to change a light bulb?A: They can’t. When they get the socket to hold still, they can’t find it.

Q: How many macrobiotics does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: Three. One to make the coffee, one to get the cigarettes, and one to ask Michio Kushi for instructions.

Q: How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?A: 1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

Q: How many SAS men does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Three. One to change it and two to shout GO! GO! GO!