Category: light bulbs

Q: How many body builders/weightlifters does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: Four. One to change the lightbulb. One to spot. The other two to stand and yell support (Come on! You can do it! etc…) But they only get three attempts.

Q: How many Americal college football players does it take to change a light bulb?A: The entire team! And they all get a semester’s credit for it!

Q: How many Blue Peter presenters does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: Two. One to change it, and one to turn the old one into an attractive Christmas tree decoration.

Q: How many Dario Argento fans does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Two. One to change it and one to film the demise of the old one in explicit gorey detail, using obscure camera angles.

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None… that’s hardware.

Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: I don’t waste my time with these childish jokes.

Q: How many Kennedy assassination conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: 15–One to screw it in, five to say he acted alone, one to say that someone hidden in the ceiling helped, one to film it, one to do an intense examination of the film and conclude that a) it was tampered with and b) it proves that the first screwer did not act alone, one to insist that the bulb was altered after it was unscrewed, three tramps to walk across the room an hour later, one to insist LBJ really screwed the bulb in, and one to accuse all the others of being disinformation specialists.

Q: How many newsmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Only one, but he’ll tell everybody.

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: One, but if he changes it, the whole building will probably fall down.

Q: How many Princeton students does it take to screw in a lightblub?A: I don’t know, let me call my maid.Note: Princeton has a reputation for being wealthier than the other seven.

How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.

Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: How long have you been having this phantasy ?