Category: light bulbs

How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That’s what grad students are for.

Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?A: It depends : If they are applications programmers, it takes exactly twice as many as are currently available. If they are host programmers, it takes one for each variant of Unix and/or MicroSoft Windows. If they are core programmers, it only takes one. He just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around him.

How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb and one not to change it.

Q: How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?A: Just one, provided there’s an engineer around to explain how to do it.

Q: How many Soviet emigres does it take to change a light bulb?A: None. Soviet emigres are used to sitting in the dark.

Q: How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: 16. One to change the bulb and 15 to say “Good on yer, mate!”

Q: Why did the lightbulb cross the road ?A: Because it saw 2 elephants coming.

Q: How many libertarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: None, because somebody might come into the room who likes to sit in the dark.

How many doctors does it take to unscrew a light bulb?
Depends……..How much insurance does the light bulb have?

Q: How many company biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?A: Four; one to write the proposal, one to design the bulb-changer, one to design the bulb-fetcher, and one to design the bulb.

How many people does it take to change an object-oriented light bulb?

Change it? Aw shucks, I was going to reuse it.

Q: How many terrorists does it take to change a light bulb?A: Twenty – one to do it and nineteen to develop a distraction.