Category: light bulbs

Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?A: Three – one to change the light bulb and two to say “Oh Wow!”

Q: How many alt.spam readers does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: One, if you buy our newest ACME Lightbulb screwer, for only $10, from XPOSTS R US, Velveeta, Ca, USA. Contact now!

Q: How many US Presidents does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Only one. If he can handle 250000000 people a day I think he can handle screwing one extra lightbulb.

Q: How many Yale students does it take to change a lightbulb?A: None–New Haven looks better in the dark!Note: If you have ever been to New Haven, you’ll know it really does.

How many sorority sisters does it take to change a light bulb?

51. One to change the bulb, and fifty to sing about the bulb
being changed.

Q: How many Hell’s Angels does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Only one. But do you really want to hang upside down with a light bulb up your ass for asking??

Q: How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: None. They are all too busy on much more important projects, like organizing each other’s lifts to the veggie restaurant meal.

How many retarded Italian gardeners does it take to screw in a
light bulb?

One, but don’t expect results.

Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb ?A: (Mike Dukakis) In Massachusetts, my enlightened government has made it unnecessary for people to screw in their own light bulbs, as we have put thousands of former welfare recipients to work for the Dept. of Light Bulb Installation. These employees will come to your home or business and install any incandescent bulb, on only a few months notice.

Q: How many poltergeists does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: Three. One to unscrew the old bulb and drop it on the floor, one to put the new bulb in, and one to move a few more things about just for good measure.

Q: How many Italians does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: Two. One to change it and one to sprinkle it with Parmesan. (Refers to the Italian restaurant habit of sprinkling everything with Parmesan, even though it makes everything smell convincingly of sick.)

How many liberated women does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to turn it in and four to form a support group.