Category: light bulbs

Q: How many loggers does it take to change a light bulb?A: They can’t do it, the light will disturb the spotted owls.Note : Topical to successful environmentalist pressures to stop logging in the NW U.S. to protect the endangered spotted owl species.

Q: How many US Presidents does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: None, the constitution says that only Congress can screw in light bulbs, so only Congress is responsible for the dark, which is why we need a Constitutional ammendment.

Q: How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?A: Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.

Q: How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?A: Two, one to screw in all the bulbs he has until he finds one that fits, and the other to tell you he thinks he’ll have to replace the whole socket.

Q: How many waiters does it take to change a light bulb?A: None, even a burned out bulb can’t catch a waiter’s eye.

Q: How many bassists does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Five-one to do it and four to beat back all the guitarists who are trying to elbow him out of the spotlight.

Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: How many do *you* think it takes?

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?A: It only takes one to change your bulb…to his.

Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: Ten. One to screw in the bulb and the other nine for crowd control.

How many field service engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They always work in the dark!

Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: Two: one to hold the bulb, and one to turn his throne (but only after they figure out that you have to turn the bulb).

Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two and a professor to take credit.