Category: light bulbs

Q: How many Limbaugh-heads does it take to change a light bulb?A: The number is irrelevant; they just stand around muttering “ditto”. And they don’t do anything in the first place.

Q: How many field service engineers does it take to replace a dead light bulb?A: Who can tell. Field service engineers are always in the dark.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: It depends how many blondes there are, but some people prefer it with the lights off.

How many recovering addicts does it take to screw in a light
bulb?

One, as long as he admits he’s powerless over light bulbs.

Q: How many trainspotters does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: Three. One to change it, one to write its serial number down, and one to bring the anoraks and the flask of soup.

Q: How many KGB agents does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: Two: One to screw it in and the other to check it for microphones.

Q: How many Quality managers does it take to change a lightbulb?A: We’ve formed a quality circle to study the problem of why lightbulbs burn out and to determine the best thing we as managers can do to enable lightbulbs to work smarter, not harder.

Q: How many terrorists does it take to change a light bulb?A: Two: one to stage a suicide attack on the bulb and another to claim responsibility in phone call to the news media.

Q: How many rednecks does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: One, it only takes one person to use a hammer.

Q: How many IBM CPU’s does it take to turn on a light bulb?A: 33 – 1 to process the instruction and 32 to process the interrupt.

Q: How many alien life forms does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Yeah, wouldn’t the guys at SETI like to know *that*!Note: SETI = Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence.

Q: How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Ve are asking ze qvestions here!