Category: light bulbs

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. They usually screw in cars.

Q: How many hicks from Manassas, VA does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Four. One to do it and the other three to sit around and talk about how good the old one was.

Q: How many IRC chatters does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: None. They’re so busy saying hello, goodbye, and kicking each other off that no one ever has enough time to get anything done !

Q: How many smokers does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: At least five. If they all light up together the lightbulb will do so too.

Q: How many Indiana University “notes” users does it take to change a light bulb?A: Have you ever wondered why it’s so dark in Bloomington?

Q: How many social scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: They do not change light bulbs; they search for the root cause as to why the last one went out.

Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: None, they get an American to do it since they are so dammed proud they know how to do it.

Q: How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two–one to say “She’ll be right mate” and one to fetch the beers.

Q: How many municipal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Seven – two to administer the Civil Service examination for the Light Bulb Administrator position, the Commissioner of Public Works, who ends up hiring his brother for the position anyway, one to plow the mayor’s driveway, a Summer Youth student to actually screw it in, and a Union steward to protest that its the electrician’s job to screw in lightbulbs.

Q: How many college students does it take to change a lightbulb? A: I don’t know. I forgot my calculator at home.

Q: How many West Virginians does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: None, they don’t have Eeeeelextrisssity in West Virginia.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?A: Three-one to sue the power company for insufficiently supplying power, or negligent failure to prevent the surge that made the bulb burn out in the first place, one to sue the electrician who wired the house, and one to sue the bulb manufacturers.