Category: light bulbs

Q: How many Soviet emigres does it take to change a light bulb?A: One, and a lot of light bulbs.

Q: How many art directors does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Does it have to be a lightbulb?

How many country & western singers does
it take to change a lightbulb?

Four, one to change the lightbulb, and the
other three to sing about how much they miss
the old one.

Q: How many proofreaders does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Proofreaders aren’t supposed to change lightbulbs. They should just query them.

Q: How many Republican Presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to change a lightbulb?A: (Robertson) Oh, Lord, with thy divine illumination, heal this light bulb!

Q: How many A & R men does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: None. “Well, I’m going to go out on a beam on this one, but I liked it better without the lightbulb.”

Sorry, we closed 18 seconds ago, and I’ve just closed the register.

Q: How many optimists does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: None, they’re convinced that the power will come back on soon.

Q: How many NHS hospital staff does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Six. Person (1) reports bulb is not working and requests a new one. Department supervisor (2) sends order form to maintenance department. Maintenance department clerk (3) decides whether to make it priority case. Job booked. Supervisor (4) decides whether it should be done individually or with other jobs. Order is placed in maintenance man’s pigeonhole. Maintenance man (5) fills in ticket describing job. He picks up the parts needed. He goes to scene of faulty lightbulb. He fits bulb or discovers he cannot mend light. He returns to department and reports back. He completes work ticket putting this in writing. Work ticket is checked by maintenance department to see whether order carried out. Then checked to see task completed in time set out under department guidelines. Ticket filed. Member of department (6) checks ticket against department work plan. Details go into department’s workload report.

Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Just one, but the new light bulbs aren’t compatible with the old sockets, so he has to buy a complete upgrade or a new light.

Q: How many field service engineers does it take to replace a dead light bulb?A: Well, the diagnostics all check out fine, so it’s a software problem.

Q: How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!