Category: light bulbs

Q: How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?A: One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, fifty to establish the state production quota, two hundred militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an ‘800’ number to order an American light bulb.

Q: How many Einsteins does it take to change a lightbulb?A: That depends on the speed of the changer, and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. Then it just might be easier to leave the bulb alone and change the room. It’s all relative.

Q: How many female opera singers does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: None. If they sing loudly enough they’ll break it.

Q: How many Poles does it take to change a light bulb?A: Just one, but you need 6000 Russian troops in case he goes on strike!

Q: How many rec.humour posters does it take to change a lightbulb?A: 31. One to change the lightbulb and thirty to flame them for picking the wrong wattage. No, better make that 32 … Captain Nitpick will want to point out that the newsgroup is rec.humor (US spelling) *not* rec.humour.

How many Chinese Red Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10,000 – to give the bulb a cultural revolution.

Q: How many dentists does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: Three. One to administer the anaesthetic, one to extract the lightbulb, and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash.

Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two–one to screw it in and one to screw it up.

Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb ?A: (Richard Gephart) It doesn’t matter whether the bulb is changed or not; it only matters that the new bulb was made in the US of A. Taiwan and South Korea have put up massive barriers to importing US light bulbs; we’ll see how they like it when their bulbs cost $10,000 to screw in here.

Q: How many unix programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: Only one, but if you forget to tell him “2]” he’ll mash both the live and dead bulbs into the same socket at once.

Q: How many Helmsley employees does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: 100: 99 to try, and one to fire them all.Note: Leona Helmsley is the owner of a New York hotel who was a terrible person to work for. She fired employees at little or no provocation. She was so nasty to her employees that she was known as the “Queen of Mean”.)

How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate
to the experience.