Category: light bulbs

How many Notre Dame Students does it take to change a light bulb?

8077 – one to distract the rector, one to make a bulb run, one
to change the bulb, one to light a candle for it at grotto,
three to discuss the unparrled light bulb changing tradition at
notre dame, 70 to sing the fight song and 8000 to check the
university’s rank in the light bulb changing polls.

Q: How many square dancers does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Four, and you have to walk them through it a few times.

Q: How many residents of country towns does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?A: None, they’re afraid there’s been too much development already.

Q: How many mutants does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two thirds.

How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?

Change? What do you mean change?

Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?A: Two, the new one and the old one.

How many Victorians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We do not discuss this with ladies and children present.

Q: How many pro-choicers does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two, one to do it and one to assert that the bulb didn’t exist before it was lit up.

How many members of your sign does it take to change a light
bulb?

ARIES: Just one. You want to make something of it?

TAURUS: One, but just try to convince them that the burned-out
bulb is useless and should be thrown away.

GEMINI: Two, but the job never gets done — they just keep
discussing who is supposed to do it and how it’s supposed to be
done!

CANCER: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help
them through the grieving process.

LEO: Leos don’t change light bulbs, although sometimes their
agent will get a Virgo in to do the job for them while they’re
out.

VIRGO: Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- one
millionth.

LIBRA: Er, two. Or maybe one. No, on second thought, make that
two. Is that okay with you?

SCORPIO: That information is strictly secret and shared only
with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient
Hierarchical order.

SAGITTARIUS: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our
whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a
stupid burned-out light bulb?

CAPRICORN: I don’t waste my time with these childish jokes.

AQUARIUS: Well, you have to remember that everything is energy,
so….

PISCES: Light bulb? What light bulb?

Q: How many field service engineers does it take to replace a dead light bulb?A: None. They just have marketing portray the dead bulb as a feature.

Q: How many classical music singers does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: None – “Impossible. The altitude may put unnecessary strain on my vocal chords. Have the bassist do it.”

Q: How many bassists does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: It doesn’t matter. Nobody will notice anyway.