Category: light bulbs

Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?A: Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.

Q: How many elephants does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: Two, but it has to be a pretty big light bulb!

Q: How many Liberal Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?A: None. “Well it’s not really a question of should we change it or should we not change the lightbulb, but more a question of…(blah blah waffle)”

Q: How many porn actresses does it take to change a light bulb?A: Well, it looks like 2 of them are really doing it, but the real answer is actually none. They’re just faking it.

Q: How many quantum physicists does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: One. Two to do it, and one to renormalise the wave function.

Q: How many Mensans does it take to change a light bulb?A: None. The dim bulbs aren’t “changed,” they are humanely euthanized.

Q: How many Union Electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Eight. One to change the bulb, three to watch him work, one to supervise, one to make the tea, and two to phone in to say that they can’t make it in to work today.

Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?A: One, once the documentation for the procedure is found in one of the 15 manuals on the shelf.

Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: It all depends on the size of the grant.

Q: How many Daleks does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: 1,500,000: To conquer a race than can climb ladders for them.

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to change it back again.

Q: How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two-one to do it and one to cross the road.