Category: light bulbs

Q: How many Unix hacks does it take to change a light bulb?A: One, but first he has to determine the correct path.

Q: How many believable, competent, “just right for the job” presidential candidates does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: It’s going to be a dark 4 years, isn’t it?

How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.

Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb ?A: (Al Gore) As usual, the other left-wing wacko candidates are putting forth solutions that moderate Southerners won’t cotton to on Super Tuesday. At least I hope not.

Q: How many gas fitters does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: Three: One to turn up the day before when you’re out, one to change the switch, and one to bring along the wrong kind of bulb.

Q: How many members of the P.L.O. does it take to change a light bulb?A: 45 – One to drive the car, four to shoot the president of Sylvania’s bodyguards, three to kidnap the president of Sylvania, five to think up the ransom demands, ten to paste up the ransom note, eight to cut little eye-holes in the cloth sacks, one to drive a truck with 2000 kilos of dynamite into the American embassy, one to claim responsibility for the bombing, and twelve to commandeer a building with working lights.

Q: How many quantum physicists does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: One: of course. Two to do it, and -1 to renormalise the wave-function. (Explanation – Renormalising the wave function is something that has to be done to a lot of quantum physics calculations to stop the answer being infinity and makes the answer always come out as one.)

Q: How many Dixons assistants does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Err. Nahh, it’s MEANT to go dark after a few weeks. It’s a new fangled addition. It’s been developed by, er, (etc…)

Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?A: Three, one to do it and two to argue about whether that was the way Bill Monroe would have done it.

How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.

Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: 50. 50? Yeah 50; its in the contract.

Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?A: They don’t. They only use acoustic light bulbs.