Category: light bulbs

Four. One to hijack a light bulb, one to commandeer a jet to the Beirut
airport, one to hold press conferences, and one to negotiate with
Israel and the US for the release of fluorescent bulbs held in hostage
around the world!

How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?

Screw that. Let the bitch cook in the dark.

Q: How many alt.fan.pratchett readers does it take to change a light bulb?A: Four. One to actually change the bulb, one to write amusing footnotes about it, one to propose to Laura, and a newbie to ask if that’s really THE Terry Or colette or both, and then to realise that the speed of light can’t be measured, except in badgers, or possibly multiple of pi, then to say sod it and ask if anyone knows where to find the lyrics for the hedgehog song…

Q: How many Dan Quayles does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: One, but it has to be a pretty dim bulb.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?A: Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.

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How many forum readers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

51. One to announce that it burned out, 10 to agree, 20 to come running in with new light bulbs and screw them in, 9 to try and screw them in without even removing the old bulb, 10 to ask for a videotape of the screwing, another one to come in a few minutes later and notice the bulb went out again and start the whole process over again.

Q: How many Republican Presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to change a lightbulb?A: (Kemp) It’s morning in America! Why should we worry about light bulbs? Let those doom-crying Democrats worry about light bulbs! [stumble over chair in the dark].

How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to call the electrician and one to mix the martinis.

Q: How many Scousers does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: One, but 200 had to apply for the job.

How does Bill Gates change a light bulb?

He doesn’t – he declares Darkness (TM) the new industry standard.

Q: How many gun control advocates does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Let the police do it – private citizens can’t be trusted with light bulbs !

Q: How many Heisenbergs does it take to change a light bulb?A: If you know how many, you can’t know if they’ve done it yet.