Category: light bulbs

Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?A: None: “We’ll document it in the manual.”

Q: How many armies does it take to change a lightbulb?A: At least five. The Germans to start it, the French to give up really easily after only trying for a little while, the Italians to make a start, get nowhere, and then try again from the other side, the Americans to turn up late and finish it off and take all the credit, and the Swiss to pretend nothing out of the ordinary is happening.

Q: How many sorority sisters does it take to change a light bulb?A: Five. One to change the bulb, and four to make T-shirts. And optionally, we may add one fraternity to start the “wet T-shirt” contest!

Q: How many Daleks does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: Daleks don’t change light bulbs, they level the building.

Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Like, why don’t you just get out of my face and stop asking me to do all your work for you ? I’m, like, really totally sick and tired of you asking me questions.

Q: How many alt.freaks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?A: None, they just all move into a room with a working light.

Q: How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: Dozens and dozens to go round selling raffle tickets so they can afford to buy the new one.

How many Mac users does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It has to be done by your local authorized dealer.

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But the light bulb has to really want to be changed.

Q: How many barbershoppers does it take to change a lightbulb?A: 7. 1 to change the light bulb, 4 to sing about how much they miss the old one and 2 to sell tickets to the “afterglow”.

Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Five–one to change the light bulb and the other four to fill out the Environmental Impact Statement.

Q: How many Japanese industrialists does it take to change a light bulb?A: Three–one to make sure the new bulb is not foreign, one to change the bulb, and one to look into the export potential of the old bulb.