Category: light bulbs

Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?A: A finite number F. One to change it and F-1 to act in a stereotypical manner according to the part they’re playing (See the formula @ the start.)

How many city planners does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Six – four to write an extensive study recommending a three-way 100/200/250 watt light bulb, one to write an article in the newspaper praising the study, and one to put in a 10 watt bulb instead because it’s slightly cheaper and less effective.

Q: How many tech writers does it take to change a lightbulb?A: None: “The user can work it out.”

How many librarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I don’t know, but I can look it up for you.

Q: How many Minbari does it take to screw in a light-bulb?A: None. They never finish the job and they refuse to tell you why.

Q: How many SAS men does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Three. One to change it and two to shout GO! GO! GO!

Q: How many civil servants does it take to change the light bulb?A: 45. One to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork.

Q: How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Oh wow, is it like dark, man?

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: Five. Two to write the specification program, one to screw it in, and two to explain why the project was late.

Q: How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a lightbulb?A: One–but Bill Gates must inspect every single bulb and socket before the operation is started.

Q: How many Soviet emigres does it take to change a light bulb?A: Four. One to stand on a chair and hold the bulb, two to lift the chair by its legs, one to call an American and to ask which way to turn the chair.

Q: How many statisticians does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: This should be determined using a nonparametric procedure, since statisticians are not normal.